Do we have the right?

Wait...

If you are dishonest with me or any of my partners then its over. We have build our lives and relationships on honesty and trust..

Without these we have nothing...

Just my thoughts....
 
I don't know that I would want to date someone who would do a background check on me. I don't have anything to hide by any means but it would make me uncomfortable that someone was going behind my back to find things out when they first met me rather than just asking me about myself.

This.

I will assume that anybody doing such a check on me (when I've no idea if I even want this person in my life on an ongoing basis) has no sense of personal boundaries or no respect for other people. I am certainly not going to discuss everything in my past with somebody I've not known long, and should they mention anything I've not shared as yet, that's time for me to walk away. Hell, if they mention that they did a check and were pleased to find that I don't have a criminal record (which is the case), I'd walk on. Homey don't play them games.
 
Okay, let's be practical... IF someone is in your home---and you are asleep....

Do you trust that they will not take a check from the back of your checkbook... or medication from your pill bottles... or help themselves to your jewelry or electronics? Maybe inventory your mutual fund portfolio?

Perhaps they could help themselves to your passwords and bank information online, by accessing your computer.

They would have access to your tax returns and....

If someone is alone in my house, I need to know that they are trustworthy.

and yes, it takes some time to get close to me... I've been burned. So I'm very careful. (and that was a remodeler, not a lover...who kicked in my door and stole everything he could.)
 
When you meet people "naturally", such as through work or through family or other friends, you have some sort of "referral" to go by and many times we don't even wonder whether a person has some skeletons in their closet, then the skeletons come out and it's no big deal because you kind of have a feel for whether the person is ok or not already.

But, when you're meeting people in a "meat-market" sort of context, such as at a bar or through a site such as OKC, they have more of a reason to want to make themselves seem attractive, and sometimes that means down-playing some unsavory thing about themselves.

I don't think you were "wrong" to do a background check, but personally it's not something I would do because I'd simply grill the person and expose any inconsistencies in their stories by myself. However, I don't need this kind of crap in my life and it's simply another reason why I don't "try" to meet people.
 
We met this guy at McDonalds while waiting for someone to show up to fix our computer. He actually happened to know how to fix it, and did so for us for a decent price. LT mentioned that she thought he was hot, so conversations ensued. Leading to a date out with him. Then a second date.

For the future, we will be letting people know up front, that we will likely do a background check, and would appreciate them doing one on us.

But....Getting caught up in a lie, is no excuse to get mad for someone checking up on public records. Not proud of your past? Bummer. It should be a lesson to either come clean when given the chance (the chance was when I told him that all we want from him is for him to be honest with us and him) or suffer the consequences of your past.
 
I'm sure all the people that let Bernie Madoff "invest" their money felt that they had a good idea of how trustworthy he was from all his references as well...

Lots of identity theft happens with family members using a person's ID.

I'm sure I think that I know which of my friends and acquaintances are honest and which are not. I don't really know if I am right or wrong.

As far as checking up on someone goes, it may actually be easier to do it if you are meeting someone on OKCupid or the like, because you can ask them upfront about it, and offer the same to them. Just like STD testing. There is less likelihood that they will be deathly offended if you ask them for permission to check, than someone that you had met more organically through friends or clubs.
 
An actual background check.. To be honest I would end it right there. Not my bag.

A little google search or even asking to read through some of my other sites sure why not.

Some things are private, and can come out with time. He likely wanted some discretion or he'll, a chance. I can understand not being entirely up front. I can personally understand someone in that situation wanting.. Time...

Consider how many people would judge him instantly for having a record, before giving the chance to prove himself.
 
An actual background check.. To be honest I would end it right there. Not my bag.

A little google search or even asking to read through some of my other sites sure why not.

Some background checks can be easier than finding someone's blog :p. Blogs can be made private, have weird names, etc where criminal records can't. Doing a google search for a person is a form of a background check.
 
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Some background checks can be easier than finding someone's blog. Blogs can be made private, have weird names, etc where criminal records can't. Doing a google search for a person is a form of a background check.

I think of background checks from my days working in a prison. Very intrusive and lots of information. it borders on the creepy...

A lil google search to find out more about the persons personality is different. Heck I usually give peope I am interested in access to my other profiles to see what I am like. Facebook, fet etc. It's a big part of the courting as I do spend a lot of time online. So it is kind of a non issue for me.
 
Okay, let's be practical... IF someone is in your home---and you are asleep....

Do you trust that they will not take a check from the back of your checkbook... or medication from your pill bottles... or help themselves to your jewelry or electronics? Maybe inventory your mutual fund portfolio?

Perhaps they could help themselves to your passwords and bank information online, by accessing your computer.

They would have access to your tax returns and....

If someone is alone in my house, I need to know that they are trustworthy.

and yes, it takes some time to get close to me... I've been burned. So I'm very careful. (and that was a remodeler, not a lover...who kicked in my door and stole everything he could.)

Until it reached the end, I thought you were arguing that doing a background check on someone behind their back was the same as all your examples (as in, just because it's there doesn't mean you should take it), but then I realised the were reasons why you think background checks should be done.

Of course I also read your examples wrong for some reason, thinking the person was checking previous checks to see who you made them too, checking your medication to see what kind you took, checking your jewelry, getting your passwords to read your email, etc, in other words things that are comparable to a background check in that they're about gathering information about someone behind their back when they assume you're not doing that even though you have the means.
Actual thefts on the other hand are not in the same area as all, although quite honestly I think I'd forgive someone more easily for stealing something from me than gathering data behind my back, provided they didn't steal much and have a reason.
 
Until it reached the end, I thought you were arguing that doing a background check on someone behind their back was the same as all your examples (as in, just because it's there doesn't mean you should take it), but then I realised the were reasons why you think background checks should be done.

Tonberry, I have to agree, I was thinking the same thing when I was initially reading that post.

I take privacy very seriously, not having much of it in some aspects of my life. Both in aspects of what information governments and corporations have any business collecting, and how much of my life has anything to do with private noses...and how much they really need to mind their own $%^&*ng business rather than mine.

I do suspect there will be some heavy cultural differences, and no problems for some people to justify whatever they figure they're entitled to regardless of any notion of respect for others, privacy, or the societal consequences at large. What kind of life remains if every dipshit zealously righteous neighbor on the block is able to run his own gestapo search of your private affairs in the name of 'safety' or whatever the flavour excuse of the week is? To me it is beyond Orwellian.

I would view this kind of action as a total invasion of privacy...(of course the laws north of the border are far more protective of this kind of information, requiring the individuals consent for such searches to be conducted) It really would be analogous to someone breaking and entering into my home to snoop around the medicine cabinet, financial records, etc.

As far as I'm concerned, rather than the paranoia of going behind someone's back to dig up dirt on them, I'd far rather take the time to get to know the person. And to take the proper time and precautions to allow them into my life as quickly or as slowly as respect, trust and reciprocation may allow. I don't mind bringing friends into my home, and see what I'm about. And those who make it past the threshold I trust to respect my space and not go snooping through the filing cabinet where they don't belong.

I have been burned by this in the past. I've had friends steal from me. Friends who I trusted for years. Criminal and background checks would not have warned me of it, or stopped it from happening. But I would far rather be disappointed by a couple of individuals than live my life under a magnifying glass of the random mob of strangers around me.

ETA:
The short answer (imho) as to whether anyone has the right, is No! It's in the realm of "just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
 
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I disagree. I have the RIGHT to protect myself, as well as my family. Hell, IMO, I have the RIGHT AND RESPONSIBILITY to do so. Doing a background check on someone, whether behind their back or upfront, is simple preparedness and protection. It's what you do with the info, that gets you in trouble. LOL
 
After all the horror stories I have heard of women meeting up with strange men they have met "online", I am truly amazed that so many people would do NOTHING to check these people out and actually find it offensive.

Would you guys seriously allow your daughters to meet up with someone they met online without even doing an internet search (google search) and see if this person is on the sexual preditors list?
 
After all the horror stories I have heard of women meeting up with strange men they have met "online", I am truly amazed that so many people would do NOTHING to check these people out and actually find it offensive.

Would you guys seriously allow your daughters to meet up with someone they met online without even doing an internet search (google search) and see if this person is on the sexual preditors list?

In Canada, as far as I know, only the police have access to the sexual offender database. This might be where the difference in what some of us are comfortable with. In Canada a lot of things aren't publicly available. That might be why a lot of us are uncomfortable with these kinds of searches being done on us (and why we wouldn't think of doing similar searches on others).
 
After all the horror stories I have heard of women meeting up with strange men they have met "online", I am truly amazed that so many people would do NOTHING to check these people out and actually find it offensive.

Would you guys seriously allow your daughters to meet up with someone they met online without even doing an internet search (google search) and see if this person is on the sexual preditors list?

Daughter.. Well maybe not. Then again how do you stop things like fb. I used to go hang out and meet new people. No harm no foul. But with daughters there is a level of protection implied.

My partners and possible partners are adult women. I would hope this kind of protection isn't needed. I would trust their judgement. And in fact, would even peep. Not my place. A "are you sute this is safe" should suffice...

The number of pervs in the world is less than normalcy (in fact the ratio is very tiny I bet). Not a fan of catoring to the fear mongering here.

And ditto to what derby said.
 
A criminal record is public for a reason in the US. If you have a criminal record, it is not private information (unless, of course, the record has been sealed by a court). Therefore, I can't see it any differently than someond doing a Google/Bing search.

Someone collecting private information (which some - very expensive - background checks do) on you is another matter altogether and should looked on dimly and, in certain cases, is against US law.

I don't really get why someone would think a criminal records check would be invasive. However, I do understand why someone convicted of a crime is embarrased by it. Searching public records just doesn't rank for me as an invasion of privacy.

Your cultural mindset may vary....
 
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Searching public records just doesn't rank for me as an invasion of privacy.

Me neither. That would be like saying that looking in the phone book or going to the Registry of Deeds is an invasion of privacy. Some people may not LIKE it that these avenues are available, but um, maybe you should have thought of that before you did whatever it was you did that got you convicted. Yo?
 
After all the horror stories I have heard of women meeting up with strange men they have met "online", I am truly amazed that so many people would do NOTHING to check these people out and actually find it offensive.

Would you guys seriously allow your daughters to meet up with someone they met online without even doing an internet search (google search) and see if this person is on the sexual preditors list?

I wouldn't even have thought of doing that.
On the other hand, I would insist she goes with a friend and meet in a public place while she gets to know that person better. I think you can protect yourself without going into others' privacies. It's like wearing a bulletproof jacket in case someone has a weapon vs breaking into their home to check if they have one.

Just because you don't do a check as a first reflex doesn't mean you assume everything is fine until further notice. You can still be prudent and careful about things and take all the common precautions (always have someone know where you are, have them call you every X amount of time on your phone to check on you, have someone come along with you the first few times, meet in public, get the person's real name and ask if you can see their ID... don't have to do any of that behind the person's back).
 
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