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immaterial

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I may have missed a thread or two addressing this; if so, pardon me and mods, feel free to move this to an existing thread if necessary.

I have no intention of opening up a big can of worms (do worms even come in cans?)

I got into a terrible flame war once several years ago with a guy who ran a swingers' club. I had never really looked into it before this and didn't know anything about it. His rules were very strict: no single guys (which I can understand, I guess) and no male-to-male contact of any kind. I didn't really want to be sexual with men, so much, as I just had my homophobia radar switch on, and I thought the whole swinging scene was sort of damned by this double standard, revealed as just another patriarchal hetero means of oppressing women. The guy who ran the swingers' club did not appreciate my opinion. haha.

I am very mildly bi. Although I am rarely sexually attracted to men, it has happened a few times. I have never had a sexual relationship with a guy (other than some fooling around in early puberty) and haven't been in a sexual situation with another man present. So my own experience is very limited here. There are men I love thoroughly and completely, but there is no sexual feeling there.

In polyamory, is there a similar taboo against male to male sexual expression? Is there such a thing as a male unicorn? Do people have poly groups, families, triads here that involve men being sexual with men? I have sensed in my short time here that women with women is more common. I also understand there are DADT arrangements where bi men in hetero relationships are "allowed" to have sex with men on the side. I was good friends with a guy who was in an arrangement like this and it worked fine for him and his wife, not always so great for his male lovers.

Also, in the reading I've done here so far, I have yet to encounter a gay male poly scenario, without a hetero component. I don't think I've read about a lesbian poly situation without a hetero component either.

Anyway, just wondering.

Immaterial
 
(do worms even come in cans?)

Yes.

In polyamory, is there a similar taboo against male to male sexual expression? Is there such a thing as a male unicorn? Do people have poly groups, families, triads here that involve men being sexual with men?

There are plenty of homophobes who identify as poly-, but I wouldn't say that there is a "taboo" about male homosexuality in any of the poly- communities I've known. There are definitely people out there looking for a male unicorn -- see polymatchmaker for ads from people looking for one. I know several people in poly- relationships in which some or all of the participants are men sleeping with men.
 
I don't think we have any homophobes in our community...and a fair number of men are bisexual. Probably regional I would think.
 
From what I have seen, male homosexuality is more accepted in poly circles than in swinger circles. There are always exceptions, but it seems that way from people I have talked to.
 
I don't think we have any homophobes in our community...and a fair number of men are bisexual. Probably regional I would think.

Maybe they're just closeted homophobes :D (it was funny in my head)
 
I am actually active in the swinger lifestyle. I have witnessed some male/male action. Most men in the swinger lifestyle however are straight or bi comfortable (everyone has their own definition of that ;) ). I personally dont know anyone (swingers) that have issues with bi men. I have noticed though that there are no homosexually identified persons on the site i'm a part of.

In a different direction. I am very curious as to the reason why ALL the couples or families seeking others, in the poly forums, is usually MFF/F couples. I would be very interested to find 2 men to have a life with. I like women alot, dont get me wrong. I just find it easier to be in relationships with men. Most of the women ive tried dating are not easy to deal with. Maybe I just havent found enough poly people in general to make my assumptions.

So for me I would be happy to have 2 men in my life who have affection for each other, as long as I get my affection somewhere too. :D
 
am I a unicorn?

well I'm full on gay.... and poly.... so....am I like... a unicorn? (O_O)
 
curious. What's a 'unicorn'?
-as to the male on male, I was wondering, seems you'd see more female on female, yeah?
Mind I don't know, it's just what I read-hear....
 
From 2002 to 2009, I was active on swinger's forums, and also met couples from personal ad sites. There are some bi men on those sites. A small minority list themselves as bi. Then a larger percentage list themselves as straight, but they are bi (my guess is that between 25% to 33% are this way). In general, on the forums, and from what I've heard about on premise swing clubs, male bisexuality is done quietly, and not openly.

It has been my experience that bi males are much more accepted in the Austin poly group, than in the swinger's scene. That is a generalization. Usually, the swinger couples with bi males don't go to clubs as much, and tend to look for a small number of bi play partners to play with at home.
 
My first poly relationship was MFM. Now, while the two guys were, in many ways, dating, they were not in a sexual relationship with each other. However, they were often in sexual situations with me simultaneously (Does that qualify as a male unicorn? I certainly found it "magical") and were comfortable being that close. We had a all-sitting-around-th-house-naked kind of relationship.

My current partner is bi and I admit, I get really turned on by the idea of him with another guy. My husband has no desire to be that guy, but there are plenty of other options.

So ... I can't speak for the community as a whole, but my poly experience has been pretty guy/guy friendly.
 
drgnsyr : thanks for letting me know that a poly relationship with two guys and one girl has actually occured. I was beginning to believe that was a mythical creature in and of itself. :p

Now I just gotta find some of these guys lol.
 
drgnsyr : thanks for letting me know that a poly relationship with two guys and one girl has actually occured. I was beginning to believe that was a mythical creature in and of itself. :p

Now I just gotta find some of these guys lol.

Let me know where they are . . .

:D
 
curious. What's a 'unicorn'?

A Unicorn is, in actual definition, a mythical creature thought to not exist. When used in the context that I used, I mean a type of person that is thought to not exist :)
 
Family

There's actually a youtube scripted show about a MFM polyamory family, appropriately titled "Family", while the acting may not be the best, and mid season they kinda take you for a loop :confused: I found it to be a very well put together show as a whole, although it's only had one season so far, I'd suggest all poly people to check it out

here's the link to the first episode
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2-MTs_Lsog

you can simply watch the rest by watching the next episode over in the related videos list

also you could just search the youtube channel 3DogPictures

again, I really did enjoy the show, and think others would as well, and the acting does get MUCH better later in the season :)
 
I just find it easier to be in relationships with men. Most of the women ive tried dating are not easy to deal with.

Boy is that true!

Speaking as a woman: Women are high-maintenance and needy!! LOL... all the boys say so! Men are high-maintenance too, but we women seem inclined to want to take care of them :p
 
Boy is that true!

Speaking as a woman: Women are high-maintenance and needy!! LOL... all the boys say so! Men are high-maintenance too, but we women seem inclined to want to take care of them :p

Eh. I've found that the women I date tend not to be very high-maintenance. Actually the people I date tend not to be high-maintenance. I generally don't find that an attractive quality so I'm not drawn to it. I think you're just as likely to find high-maintenance men as it is to find high-maintenance women. And I've seen a lot of men highly inclined to date high-maintenance partners in order to take care of them.

I guess the point is that I think gender has a lot less to do with being high-maintenance than people generally think.
 
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There is still an aweful lot of unfreindly crap around gays in general, and men take it a little harder than women in society so far. The possible reasons for this are myriad and irrelevent, so long as the fct that gay men take more heat from homophoes than most women is stipulated.

What's more, it gets even weirder when looking away from gay and homing in (hahahahaha) on bisexuality - for whatever reason, bi women are more accepted - in fact, becoming more the 'norm' every day - and bi men are almost treated more poorly than gay men - and oddly enough, often moreso by gay men than straight.

I imagine this has a bit to do with it.

Also - in another thread, the issue of women having an "easier" time sharing than guys came up; this and many other reasons might explain the assumption by so many that polymory = polygamy.

I am straight, even tried to experiment against my own insincts once and proved laughably that I am zero percent gay, lol. 2 of the girls in the house are quite openly and very bisexual, the 3rd is straaight but becoming more curious, she could land on either side of that coin. So I guess our relationship just holds up the other image, lol. I'll try to be more attracted to men if it'll help - no promises on the effectiveness of these attempts, though! :p

A unicorn in swinger and poly, etc, circles is a bisexual individual who is attracted to both partners in a couple. Usually referred to in the mythical sense because it happens so rarely yet everyone in the scene is looking for them; a unicorn is anyone who fits the critera, but if left unspecified, the default assumption is the "HBB" or "Hot Bi Babe" image.

There are many MFM relationships on this site, not sure where the idea that most here are not came from? It almost seems to be 50/50, or even SLIGHTLY weighted TOWARDS the MFM arrangement from what I read..?
 
I have nothing to contribute to this thread other than the fact I find two guys kissing hot and have been known to cheer if I see it.
 
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