Thread: Triad Equality
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:10 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
This might be a bit of a tangent, but way back when I first joined this board there was a thread from a couple that had a committed triad with a third that didn't work out. It basically amounted to something like "Our third didn't behave the way we wanted her to in the relationship. What went wrong?"

Most of the answers consisted of all sorts of speculation about whether she was honest, really poly, etc. I really had to facepalm all the vilification of her. I'm kind of seeing the same thing here. The only piece of info I can glean from all of this is what Alex said. It seems that there are different goals at play here. But I can't speculate as to Anne's goals because her voice hasn't been at the table.

Now perhaps people will think this is another "think about the third" soapbox post, but rest assured I would have the very same issue if it were a member of the couple what wasn't represented. It just so happens, that it's usually the third's voice that get's heard the least around here.

I agree it's all speculation when we aren't hearing all sides. That is why I said it sounds like a compromisable issue-not "well Violet is all correct and Anne's a you know what".
Anne (or HMA) may have VERY valid reasons for wanting triple rings.

NO PROBLEM! I'm right there with ya!

But surely we aren't going to throw away expensive jewelry just because we enhanced the relationship?????

I talked with Maca about it last night-because I was curious on his take, I knew mine. He and I agreed-it just seems like a big huge to-do over nothing.
She wants to keep a wedding ring.. AND SO?

A ring does not a marriage make.
A ring does not a triad make
A ring does not a marriage break.
A ring does not a triad break.

I could make that list go miles with examples! It's only symbolic of her commitment to HMA, BUT it is not symbolic of a lack of commitment to another.

ANY mother can acknowledge that just because they wear a wedding ring DOES NOT mean that they are not equally committed to their child... I have a mothers ring now-great, fun for me. But prior to getting it-I was still just as devoted to my children as I am my husband and I am still just as devoted to my husband even though I wear a ring on my right hand for GreenGecko.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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