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Old 04-14-2011, 07:05 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Originally Posted by Tracey View Post
It appears you've got two dynamics going on: (1) verbal/emotional abuse, and (2) a deeply ingrained, well-developed script. I hold out hope that people can change their behaviors, if the choose to do so. What's really tough to battle is that script. If this has been going on for 10 years, the two of you have a shared pattern of behaviors/responses -- your script -- that you both need to work on together. Your partner says/does something, a trigger, and you KNOW you're about to get blasted. You, in turn, react in some way that causes a trigger for your partner to activate, and before you both know it you're down some ugly path that neither of you can seem to step away from until it's run its course.
Yep, I can totally see this. The relationship has been physically violent before and is no longer, so maybe that is why I'm holding out hope for improvement on the emotional level as well? Right now I am a bit pessimistic, though.

Thank you for your kind and insightful words, Tracey!

Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
it was moved to the Fireplace because it's not a topic that is specific to poly relationships.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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