Why must men always be the aggressor, while women are ALWAYS the non-aggressor?
Sometimes, TL, I think in your head, you live in the 1950s, with the things you say about women and men, really! Always non-aggressive? Ask the guy I met on the subway last night how long it took for me to strike up a conversation with him, give him my card, and ask him to call me. I mean, I grew up reading Cosmo, I could never sit back and "always" be non-aggressive!
If you're not getting contacted, I'd say there's some issue with your profile, or the fact that you're married, poly, etc., that just limits interest. If you start a journal there, it might generate some interest. I always get lots of views when I post to my journal.
I would say that 95% of the guys I have email exchanges with on OKC were ones that I contacted first. I send tons of emails to guys. I have had men write back and say they aren't interested, but most don't write back. I know my beauty can be intimidating to mere mortals, but...
I have read in the OKC journals several times that most men on there wait for women to contact them first, for some reason. I really wish more of the guys I am attracted to would reach out to me initially. Usually, the ones that do are duds. It's only a very small percentage of men who contact me first that are someone I'd be interested in.
That being said, something good has recently developed and has me very excited, so we'll see. And this one is actually someone who contacted me first, BUT he admits that it was an "accident" of sorts. He was perusing OKC on his iphone, and did not see my location, just my pic. So he clicked on it, started reading, and had to respond. Normally, he said, he wouldn't have considered me because I live in a different city, a few hours away from him and he wasn't looking for an LDR. But now, we're caught up in some giddily romantic pen-palling. [wheee!]
Let me state, he didn't send a lame wink, or some ridiculous one-liner. He first told me my profile was a "good read," and thoughtfully commented about some of it: "I love what you have to say about . . . ", which showed me not only that he actually read it but that he could relate to it. He concluded with ". . . who knows where a few notes can lead? At the very least, some good correspondence. From little acorns, etc." which I thought was charming. He had about five recent pictures of himself so I have a good idea about what he actually looks like, and a very well-written thoughtful profile. And now we're both giddy and gaga over our new correspondence with each other!
So maybe your approach might need some work, TL.