I sat in a parking lot and cried, texted my other loves, and tried studying for my exam. Granted I was 6 hours from home and asked not to get myself a hotel room so I didn't really have a lot of options known to me. If I wasn't such an introvert I may have gone out, but being in a strange city alone didn't inspire my confidence of that being a good idea. We only tried once in my home and I did not appreciate giving up my bed, so I paced the halls. I feel guilty for not feeling ok about B & L being alone when J is not there to distract me.
When your SO is out with someone else, what do you do with your time? My hubby is out of town visiting a new playmate and I'm kinda at a loss on what to do with myself.
Why didn't you get your own room?
I thought it was an issue with not keeping busy enough, but it's turned out that I'm not okay with him being away this long doing that. It's now a totally different discussion
or that they'll come back in love with their new squeeze
...well, coming back after one weekend in love? I know you were just being sarcastic, but it CAN be unnerving when someone who loves you, then falls in love with another.
Even though the basis of poly means "many loves," actually being faced with that can be a totally different thing.
I always feel the best thing to do is remind yourself that he or she loves you, too, and that's not going to change.
::Hugs::
Instead of framing this as a "bad" thing, it might help to frame it in your mind as "change." Lots of change is hard. All sorts of life events can bring about change. Change can cause growth. Change can be neutral or good.
My guess is, since you and he are married and make a good team, you've learned about each other, made adjustments, worked things out, and gotten good at doing things as a team. With a little more work and a few more adjustments, you two could get good at this, too.
My other thought is to ask if it would help for him to include you more while he is away. Is he texting, calling, and otherwise communicating with you about how great his life is and how wonderful you are?
I find if I am more in the loop about my partner's time away, my imagination doesn't run as far afield. If you are hearing that he's happy, you make more positive associations with his travel much the way you might if he were away visiting family instead. I'm not talking about details of sex, but what about dinner and that movie that he would now like to see with you, too.
This stuff won't work for everyone, and is just one approach. For me, it's like exercise. I tried all the trends and eventually found what worked best for me. Best wishes.