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Old 03-21-2013, 05:04 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by soleilselene View Post
I get insurance next month and that will be my first stop. I tested positive for HPV about 7 years ago, and that has been it. Recently my partner's wife tested positive for HPV and everyone is getting paranoid about everything.

I told my other two partners about it and one was very chill, telling me that 80% of people get it, that it usually clears on its own and blah blah blah. What I already knew.
The statistics I've read are that virtually every sexually active adult has contracted HPV at some point in their lives. It's as common as the flu. And at any given time, upwards of 70% of sexually active adults are currently viral. There are many different strains (just like the flu) and they don't all cause the same things. Some strains cause genital warts, others cause cancer, and most cause nothing but panic.

I once had an abnormal pap smear. I'd been getting regular testing, but I didn't realize HPV wasn't covered in the standard battery of tests. By the time I had my colposcopy (ouch), there was no virus present. So it will never be confirmed whether I did or did not at some point have HPV. At any rate, I don't now.

When I started dating my girlfriend, I just said it like that... "By the way, I once had an abnormal pap smear, which means I may or may not have had HPV." Her response? "Yeah, me too. It's no big deal. Everyone gets it, except virgins."

If this girlfriend is so paranoid about getting HPV, why hasn't she been vaccinated?

BTW, you can get free STD tests at many community clinics, especially women's health or gay health clinics.

Originally Posted by jaynecobb View Post
Forum noob here, but question about how big a deal herpes really is.

Happily married for 9 years, poly for 6. No symptoms, but wifey and I just got tested for HSV1 & 2. Results should be in in a few days.

Hypothetically, if she has either and I have none, is it crazy unreasonable for me to be hesitant about having sex with the wife ever again? God, just typing that sounds horrible. I'm just thinking if I say "Sure, I know we're going to be together forever, so voluntarily contracting herpes is worth it because I love you," and then 5 years down the road something happens and we get divorced am I going to really regret choosing to do that for her?

From the info I can gather, upwards of 60% of people already have it, and then a good portion of those people don't actually experience symptoms. I think it's really the social stigma that gets me about herpes.

Would love some thoughts from those more experienced and wiser than I. Preferably from both parties: those who have it and those who don't. Thanks!
Herpes, on the other hand, is no walk in the park. My BFF's sister had a herpes outbreak when her daughter was born. Her regular doctor was not available for the delivery, and the doctor on call did not know her history. She should have delivered by c-section, but it didn't work out that way. Her daughter contracted a herpes infection in her throat/lungs and nearly died. She's actually the first child in Canada to have such a severe case and actually survive. She was lucky. They were doing a clinical trial of this new treatment at the time. To this day, she's still immune-compromised. She has to stay home whenever the flu is going around school, she can't be around smokers at all because it irritates her lungs, and she'll never live a completely normal life. She had a tracheal tube until she was 3.

Herpes is incurable and can be very unpleasant, or so I'm told. It can be transmitted with condoms. So if you get it and you get divorced (or want to explore outside the marriage), you can kiss your sex life goodbye.

I personally wouldn't risk it, and I would never ask my husband to do something like that. I consider it incredibly selfish... and I'm a pretty selfish person, so that's saying a lot.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 03-21-2013 at 05:07 AM.
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