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Old 01-12-2013, 11:07 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,965

Originally Posted by Centauress View Post
"Even though polygamy isn't socially acceptable in the mainstream it doesn't cause the same kind of recoil reaction that happens when you hear of instances of a woman with two men in spousal capacities."
This has actually NOT been my experience - in my personal reactions, or other people's reactions directed at me.

For me, when I read/hear of a situation of a man with multiple women, I am immediately on guard and looking for hints that some sort of "religious oppression" (or harem-building) type of polygyny/polygamy is occurring. Precisely because it is more common. I want to be re-assured that this is not the case and that all the female participants have their own "voice" and say in how things are conducted.

Because polyandry is NOT common in most cultures/religions it feels, to me, that it doesn't carry the same baggage. People may not have encountered it before, so they can consider the situation de novo and judge it on it's own merits, without the cultural "baggage" associated with "religious polygamy".

A few of our friends, when they learned of our situation, did express concern that MrS was "really okay" with our arrangement. I felt that this was entirely appropriate (and they would have expressed the same sentiment if the situation was reversed) because they ARE his friends, and they care about him personally. (On the flip side, nobody seemed particularly surprised, these people have known me a LONG time - they know that I am bi and that I have always been interested in "girls on the side" - it was the addition of another MALE partner, and a live-in at that, that was the twist.)

I suppose it depends on what someone's life experiences and exposures up to that point have been...

JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost ex-lover-friend, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS; live-in with Katniss
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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