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Old 01-17-2012, 03:30 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Wow...good luck with your meeting with her!!
Has he exhibited any of the "white night" behavior before in the 8 years you've been together? Sounds like "rescuer" behavior.

In your explantion of the situation, I can see that the most common triangle pattern is:
her- victim
him- rescuer

the reason you have to become the perpetrator is because that's how the triangle works.

Then- when you put your foot down it shifted to:
you- rescuer

Now- with you going to talk to her, there is a possible inevitable shift of:
him- perpetrator
you- rescuer.

Anyone caught in this type of triangle might want to do some reading about it. There is a pretty good simple book called The Power of Ted and it takes a new spin on the Victim,Rescuer,Perpetrator triangle phenomenon.....transorming them into Creator,Coach,Challenger respectively.

Again- good luck!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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