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Old 05-08-2012, 11:50 PM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 48

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
? - I don't see why the agreement would be any less likely to hold up in a Vee than any other arrangement. And I don't see why the "arms" would be more likely than the "hinge" to want to have unprotected sex - I would think it would depend on the gender and mono/polyness of the people involved. (i.e. I think men are statistically more likely than women to object to condoms and mono people aren't looking for outside sex anyway).
I agree with your observations about gender (& monogamy), but I still conjecture that closure to unprotected sex outside a fixed group is easier to maintain if there are no dangling ends. Pure conjecture, mind you. If the dangling ends are female or perfectly happy being mono, maybe you're right.

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
An interesting aside - contraception at this point would be a matter of negotiation between NewGirlfriend and MrS and ME - which I just realized as I was typing this. As MrS's legal wife I feel I should have some input regarding procreation. If MrS gets NewGirlfriend pregnant - he is legally responsible for child support etc., this affects our joint finances, etc. I have no legal responsibility for Dude's offspring. (Which is not saying that I wouldn't have an emotional, ethical, etc. responsibility - depending on my relationship with NewGirlfriend) And we should all be aware of the fact that accidents do happen and contraceptives do fail and we should address what happens if that happens while having these conversations.
Oh, yes, we are definitely far more concerned about contraception than STIs. Actually, my wife wanted to require me to get a vasectomy before we pursued multiple relationships at all, even with condoms. I was able to convince her to let me try out multiple relationships a bit before I made any quick decisions. A visit to the urologist is definitely on the agenda. An accidental pregnancy with another partner seems like a Vishnu-style world-destroying shit-storm.
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