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Old 10-17-2013, 12:57 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,598

Originally Posted by Darkling View Post
Why would I sign up for a relationship that has a shelf life from the start? It sounds painful.
The end of a relationship can be quite painful, depending on the circumstances. Am I correct in interpreting this to mean that you have never been party to a relationship ending? Friend, family, lover...?

Originally Posted by Darkling View Post
I also have lived in the mono-get-married-and-stay-together-for-life model that it seems really strange to entertain the idea of pursuing another relationship knowing that it will end at some point.
This statement blows my mind. In the same sentence you have stated that it is a foregone conclusion that any relationship with the mono-for-life stamp on it will in fact last for life... and any other relationship is doomed for failure.

Just because you have stated that your mono-mate-for-life preference has no bearing on whether it will last for life. Some rare relationships are the very first one for both people, they mate for life, they constructively and positively tackle every difficulty life has to offer, their sex drives remain perfectly compatible for their entire lives, and they have compatible philosophy growth for their entire lives. If this happens I'd say that is one for the record books. Assuming that it's going to happen just because that's the way it's supposed to... that is almost blind optimism.

The defeatist approach that a relationship can't last simply because it doesn't have the mono-forever stamp is setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is also applying traditional life-long-mono viewpoints onto a relationship style to which it doesn't apply.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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