NRE (New Relationship Energy) - Merged Threads, General Discussion

I don't consider NRE as "ending" when the relationship is successful - to me it's more like radioactive decay - it just slowly gets less and less as other even more wonderful things take its place....

I like this :) (Big surprise, given my nickname...)

Radioactive decay is a random event, completely unpredictable. All we can ever say is that, given enough of a radioactive sample, half of them will still be intact after X amount of time.

The neat thing about radioactive decay is, there's nothing saying that a particular atom ever has to eventually decay. Theoretically, there's no reason some can't last forever. Also important is that given a large enough sample and any specific amount of time, there will likely be SOME atoms [relationships] that are "radioactive" for that amount of time...
 
I don't consider NRE as "ending" when the relationship is successful - to me it's more like radioactive decay - it just slowly gets less and less as other even more wonderful things take its place....

I like this too and it's certainly what I experience. The more I participate in the success of my relationships the more of that feeling I get when I had NRE at the beginning. I'm addicted to working hard and being successful where my relationships are concerned.
 
I like this too and it's certainly what I experience. The more I participate in the success of my relationships the more of that feeling I get when I had NRE at the beginning. I'm addicted to working hard and being successful where my relationships are concerned.

Ditto!:D
 
Pros/Cons of NRE

I saw this a while back on another forum but I am curious to know peoples views here and I thought the thread came along nicely, obviously cons can simply be something as an effect of NRE (blinded by the light haha)

pros
Boundless energy
Everything feels awesome and is elevated
Confidence sky rockets

cons
When left out of control it can blind you to the person you are with
Lots of money can be spent (heck you are dating a new person)
it can become addicting (serial NRE anyone?)

I gotta finish getting ready for the bbq. Hopefully this hasn't been done before :)
 
pros
you tend to smile more which makes the people around you happier
you have a more positive outlook on many things
it feels soooo gooood!

cons
can bring out small insecurities (why didn't he/she contact me yet)
can make you go "too fast" or want "too much" "too soon"
can make you forget other responsibilities

both
your mood can swing to polar opposites in moments just by the smallest thing the NRE partner says, does, or does not say or do.
 
Pros
It doesn't last.

Cons
It will convince you that diving from a 10 storey building is a good idea.



:p
 
Bringing in the theory

Coming from a psychology perspective, I see NRE as an attachment-forming device. It's the same (brain chemistry-wise) as seeing a baby for the first time and wanting to scoop it up and keep it safe. The infatuation and affection of that period secures people a bit and helps to ensure that the couple is invested enough to stick it out through colic nights (or arguments about the toilet seat).

No clue whether that's positive or negative, but it's still my two cents.
 
pros
you tend to smile more which makes the people around you happier
you have a more positive outlook on many things
it feels soooo gooood!

cons
can bring out small insecurities (why didn't he/she contact me yet)
can make you go "too fast" or want "too much" "too soon"
can make you forget other responsibilities

both
your mood can swing to polar opposites in moments just by the smallest thing the NRE partner says, does, or does not say or do.


Ewwww, Van you are so right!
 
Pros-helps me lose weight. Gets me in touch with my body and sexuality. Helps me feel confident. Makes me fall in love with my husband and other loves all over again. Everyone gets more sex. Its like a holiday everyday and moment they are with me. It ends and settling occurs once again.

Cons-makes me want to do rash things like come out to everyone. Creates an imbalance of time with other lovers and family. Makes me cranky if someone points out that I am creating hardship for others. It ends and the transition from NRE is sobering sometimes.
 
For the most part I'm not a big fan of NRE. Although I don't deal with it very often I find it primarily blinds people to reason and the emotions of others.

NRE is a selfish thing I find...not intentionally, but it makes you think everyone around you should be just as happy and understand your joy when often they just want you to shut up.

It does make for great sex, I agree. But true connection makes for better in my opinion. NRE is the animal phase, rutting season, after that it's the human phase; passion fueled by actual connection and not simply screwed up chemicals.

:eek:Tangent alert!!

I read an article on our local poly sight about monogamy lowering men's libido. I have often said "for every beautiful woman out there, there is a guy bored of fucking her". I have learned a lot since then. Now I think of it more as "For every beautiful women out there, there is a guy saying I love you to her but has lost true connection with her".
 
Do you think?

...that NRE lasts a lot longer if one party (probably the female) holds out on sex? Z has a secondary that is celibate (so far) and it seems to keep the NRE alive. They have known each other for years but their connection deepened when his marriage ended. It seems that unconsummated their relationship hasn't moved out off the NRE phase. They kiss and cuddle and she massages him which is probably just enough to hold him in the space.

What do think, I'd be very interested.
 
...that NRE lasts a lot longer if one party (probably the female) holds out on sex?

Someone once said to me that men lose their "fantasy" or "illusion" once they've had sex. Personally, I think it depends on the individual.
 
Nre..

Pros:
The world becomes rainbows and magic.
It becomes easy to get things done.
It ends someday.

Cons:
The world becomes rainbows and magic.
It becomes easy to get things done.
It ends someday.

In other words, I think that NRE's benefits and downsides are pretty much the same.

Being full of joy can be awesome but it also makes people self centered. Being able to "do things" pretty easily means that you get things done, but sometimes those things that you end up doing are bad ideas.
 
I really can't comment, where as I am consumed by NRE at this moment, with no ending in sight. I do have a question for the more experienced Poly people..does the relationship die out after the NRE in most cases, or do many continue on with a calmer, loving relationship. I haven't seen alot of posts on quads and their longevity. I know in our case, all of us would like to see this relationship continue on for a long time to come, but are we really in touch with reality?
I will say, that the previous posted Pro's, fit us to a tee...hopefully we can settle into a calmer state, and enjoy that for some time to come. Last night, we all switched houses for the night, and no one had sex, come to find out. Everyone was tired, but I also see that we are a little calmer, as the weeks go by. Sorry to hijack ...just wondering what some of you thought about this..:D Candi
 
I really can't comment, where as I am consumed by NRE at this moment, with no ending in sight. I do have a question for the more experienced Poly people..does the relationship die out after the NRE in most cases, or do many continue on with a calmer, loving relationship. I haven't seen alot of posts on quads and their longevity. I know in our case, all of us would like to see this relationship continue on for a long time to come, but are we really in touch with reality?

Its just like a normal monogamous one. Once the sheen has worn off the reality of who the people are set in.

At that point anything can happen just like in "normal" relationships :)
 
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