I don't really think I was at fault, NovemberRain, but my husband sure wants me to think so. Apparently he thinks I should have wanted to dance the last 15 minutes before midnight with him, and the fact that I hadn't looked around to see if he was in the room yet before I asked C to dance was a sign I really don't care about him. He seems to think the room was full of couples seeking out their sweethearts at two dances before midnight, and I was the only wife in the room who wasn't bothering to look for her husband.
I keep saying, "I can't meet your expectations if I don't know what they are," and he keeps saying, "Any reasonable person would have understood that we should be together for the 15 minutes before midnight."
Oh this sounds so familiar. I'm sorry you are struggling with the same problems
One thing that helped in my situation (at least a bit), was figuring out our different languages of love. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ (I'm not promoting the book)
Sorry, I haven't read the whole topic so I don't know if this has been discussed before.
In any case, if you speak different love languages, you can do as much as ever to make your husband feel special and yet he might not, if you aren't speaking the same language.
Like, I like receiving gifts, but he couldn't care less. So I could shower him with gifts and it wouldn't help one bit. However, he likes quality time, so I can give him this and make him feel valued.
Maybe opening the discussion about this would make him realize that you are not willingly neglecting him?