From my introductory post I learnt that fraternal polyandry seems to be a step too far even for polys! But, it is a 'thing' and although it seems rare and even rarer for it to work, my situation hasn't changed so I'm carefully picking my way down that rocky ravine anyway...
I don't know if I 'qualify' as poly - I know that when I was growing up I never pictured myself with just one man, ideally I'd have two and I literally had lovely cosy dreams at night of being in bed cuddled up to two men lol When I actually started 'dating' I felt I had to play by the rules though, so I kept all my relationships strictly casual so it was fine that they 'overlapped' sometimes. Then I got into serous relationships and settled down to being mono fairly happily - I've never cheated, I never could, I know for a fact I could not enjoy sex in those circumstances.
So I met my husband (The Scientist) and he is perfect for me and I would be 100% happy with just us two forever. What makes me think I'm poly rather than a disgusting greedy person is that I feel like most people see love as like a cake, just one cake, and in order to love another you'd have to cut a slice of it out, meaning the original person has less. I don't feel that way about my husband, I feel like our love is encased in an inpenetrable steel ball and anything else that happens happens outside that ball, which will never be cut into, carved up etc.
So, husband has a brother (The Mechanic) as I said in my introductory post, and we all work together on our joint business and live very close to each other. The Mechanic doesn't have a partner and as far as I or The Scientist know, never has. He's in his 40s and I think is a virgin. It's fairly common knowledge amongst his intimates that this isn't of his choosing. He has tried with women, but they cannot see past his shyness. I spent 6yrs trying to find someone for him myself, but was shocked at how shallow people could be and fell out with friends over it - not just being shallow, but so rude and dismissive with it. The truth is that when you get past the chronic initial shyness, he's incredibly intelligent, witty, genuine and kind.
So, I got to thinking that I would have him, no problem, if I were single. I'm not of course, but is that so much of a barrier in our situation? We operate as a great, functional threesome already, The Mechanic dotes on our daughter. The only thing that's missing is sex and affection for The Mechanic, which I am happy to give. Obviously though, my priority is my husband and as such NOTHING has ever happened between me and The Mechanic, we don't even hug. I would proceed no further without The Scientist's full knowledge and consent.
I know he's a relaxed guy with a live-and-let-live attitude: he will defend poly in a debate. But he's pretty old fashioned/conservative with regards to how he lives his own life. He's open minded in the bedroom, but only between us; he's said no to threesomes of any kind. Although I'd love to try a MFM threesome, I'm not after that here, I'm happy to keep the sex separate in this case! He has joked in the past about leaving me to his brother in his will. I just wonder if, given how close they are and how you want people you love that much to be happy, and given we all almost live and work together and WORK together as it is, can we overcome any kind of possessiveness or jealousy?
It's a big risk though, every inch of our lives is at stake! So I'm treading very, very carefully. Obviously, assuming The Scientist gave his consent I still don't know if The Mechanic would even fancy me! So it's all a long way off, but at this point a fidelitous V is my goal.
I don't know if I 'qualify' as poly - I know that when I was growing up I never pictured myself with just one man, ideally I'd have two and I literally had lovely cosy dreams at night of being in bed cuddled up to two men lol When I actually started 'dating' I felt I had to play by the rules though, so I kept all my relationships strictly casual so it was fine that they 'overlapped' sometimes. Then I got into serous relationships and settled down to being mono fairly happily - I've never cheated, I never could, I know for a fact I could not enjoy sex in those circumstances.
So I met my husband (The Scientist) and he is perfect for me and I would be 100% happy with just us two forever. What makes me think I'm poly rather than a disgusting greedy person is that I feel like most people see love as like a cake, just one cake, and in order to love another you'd have to cut a slice of it out, meaning the original person has less. I don't feel that way about my husband, I feel like our love is encased in an inpenetrable steel ball and anything else that happens happens outside that ball, which will never be cut into, carved up etc.
So, husband has a brother (The Mechanic) as I said in my introductory post, and we all work together on our joint business and live very close to each other. The Mechanic doesn't have a partner and as far as I or The Scientist know, never has. He's in his 40s and I think is a virgin. It's fairly common knowledge amongst his intimates that this isn't of his choosing. He has tried with women, but they cannot see past his shyness. I spent 6yrs trying to find someone for him myself, but was shocked at how shallow people could be and fell out with friends over it - not just being shallow, but so rude and dismissive with it. The truth is that when you get past the chronic initial shyness, he's incredibly intelligent, witty, genuine and kind.
So, I got to thinking that I would have him, no problem, if I were single. I'm not of course, but is that so much of a barrier in our situation? We operate as a great, functional threesome already, The Mechanic dotes on our daughter. The only thing that's missing is sex and affection for The Mechanic, which I am happy to give. Obviously though, my priority is my husband and as such NOTHING has ever happened between me and The Mechanic, we don't even hug. I would proceed no further without The Scientist's full knowledge and consent.
I know he's a relaxed guy with a live-and-let-live attitude: he will defend poly in a debate. But he's pretty old fashioned/conservative with regards to how he lives his own life. He's open minded in the bedroom, but only between us; he's said no to threesomes of any kind. Although I'd love to try a MFM threesome, I'm not after that here, I'm happy to keep the sex separate in this case! He has joked in the past about leaving me to his brother in his will. I just wonder if, given how close they are and how you want people you love that much to be happy, and given we all almost live and work together and WORK together as it is, can we overcome any kind of possessiveness or jealousy?
It's a big risk though, every inch of our lives is at stake! So I'm treading very, very carefully. Obviously, assuming The Scientist gave his consent I still don't know if The Mechanic would even fancy me! So it's all a long way off, but at this point a fidelitous V is my goal.