Turned on by wife flirting!

Thanks Podunk

To put it in poly terms -

I can see a situation where I would be happy a V forming with my wife as the hinge.

I gathered a little of that from what you wrote. Thought it was awesome that you're so excited (literally :D ) about the whole thing. So many sob stories on here, your dynamic is refreshing.

I also had that dynamic in my own relationship up until now. It was nice to be reminded of it.
 
Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you? A poly relationship would foil that excitement over time. Just something to think about.
 
Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you? A poly relationship would foil that excitement over time. Just something to think about.

Fair enough, but hopefully he and his wife will have time to grow in to things before it gets that far. Maybe they will start out as swingers, many of us did, and grow in to poly. Maybe his wife will like the attention so much that she runs off with the first dude she meets. We have seen it all on here haven't we? :eek:
 
Thanks Jade and Podunk.

Part of the excitement is that she's even enjoying these compliments. A year ago that would have not entertained receiving compliments like she does now.

nad I am loving it ! :D:D
 
Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you? A poly relationship would foil that excitement over time. Just something to think about.

There was someone here for a while who was into hotwifery, and I believe he and his wife had a regular guy for that, whom they had built trust and an understanding with, IIRC. I didn't think it was always supposed to be with strangers.
 
There was someone here for a while who was into hotwifery, and I believe he and his wife had a regular guy for that, whom they had built trust and an understanding with, IIRC. I didn't think it was always supposed to be with strangers.

Ha, that's kind of cool. Never really thought of it, but I guess veganchick and I have had at least an electronic version. It's actually a former co-worker of hers. He and his wife have talked about opening up, but I think that is as far as they have gotten. Anyway, they have a little text message thing going and veganchick has sent a few sexy pics. She even texted him one night when we were on our way to a swing club. Blew his mind! He loves the attention, she does too, and I like knowing how much another man wants her.
 
Ha, that's kind of cool. Never really thought of it, but I guess veganchick and I have had at least an electronic version. It's actually a former co-worker of hers. He and his wife have talked about opening up, but I think that is as far as they have gotten. Anyway, they have a little text message thing going and veganchick has sent a few sexy pics. She even texted him one night when we were on our way to a swing club. Blew his mind! He loves the attention, she does too, and I like knowing how much another man wants her.

I'd really like my wife to experience that! I'll give it time and gentle encouragement. :)
 
Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you?
This is what I was wondering. Thank you Jade.

I guess I'm confident my wife wont fall in love with someone else, run away with them, and break up our happy home. Maybe if you re-assured him that it was just fun, and that you would enjoy it just for the attention?

We have a little boy 7, that we both love to bits, neither of us would do anything to harm him or cause unhappiness in our home :D:D
It sounded to me like this as far as it could go before you would feel like she was destorying your family and marriage. Yes it all has to start some where, but it was sounding like that was the place you wanted to be at and no more.

Perhaps you are unawares of the turmoil that is casued when another person becomes a fixture in an established marriage? It is unhappy sometimes for those witnessing and pulling up the slack in a relationship. It is possible that those involved "run away" for a time. NRE is powerful and potentially destructive.

If your wife falls for another man it will likely be very difficult for you and your child. Adjustment time takes place for up to and over a year. All I ask is that you are aware of this and what could happen. Don't be under the illusion that you will be jacking off to thoughts of her with another man. Sure, you could be, but its unlikely to be as gleeful. I would suggest enjoying today and remembering to keeping a clear head, talking about what ifs, educating your through reading up on other experiences and your eye on the bigger picture. I would hate that glee to turn sour the moment she looks at you vacantly after a weekend of fucking because you thought it was all going to be sexy masturbation time for you.

Bah! You never asked for advice, just for people to share in your glee. I am leaving this here regardless but please know I am happy for you that you found some enjoyment for yourself in her flirtations.
 
Last edited:
Ah Redpepper, you speak very wise words, and I think you for your input, and I have thought about most of those things, but I am new here, new to this idea, and so, yes I need advice, guidance, and I'm grateful for all that on here.

Ive read loads of your posts on this forum, so I take your thoughts on this as very valuable indeed.
 
Well, last night my wife said to me that she had a dream about a guy.

This is a guy at work, and in the dream he was approaching her to (in her words) "be his mistress" :D

I was too dog tired, and nearly asleep when she told me, so I didnt pursue the topic, but I will ask her about every little detail tonight!! :D :D :D

I think this is a small breakthrough away from her normally conservative, traditionalist thinking, and I hope to hear all about the dream tonight!
 
mmm havent got the details of the dream yet.

But she just IM'd me - today, she was out running, and when she was stretching, 2 x 20somethings were looking at her, she smiled and they said "looking good!" - she enjoyed it.

And I'm enjoying her getting those compliments !
 
Ive got the details on the dream my wife had, it was about this man (who she finds attractive!), and he asked her "to be his mistress" !

Then on another night this week, she dreamt we were on a cruise ship, and the captain was trying to seduce her!

These are huge steps forward for her - she cant bring herself to have a fantasy about anyone except me, so these are signs for me that her mind is opening up, at least to a fantasy or 2 without me!
 
Wife was away for a day at uni yesterday, and she said she "fell in love" with the lecturer. Probably not, but she obviously felt very attracted to him !

Anyway, later she said she'd love to "study under him" !!:D:D

Of course, in my mind Ive got a picture of her under him now. :):)
 
I've been away from home for 3 weeks.chat to the wife, M on whatsapp regularly.

Yesterday she tells me she was asked on a date by a young guy in her office. I told her to go for it, but she probably won't. Maybe I'll gently encourage a lunch date between them at least. I don't know what "young" is, I'll get some more detail today, I hope.

I'm just pleased she got this attention, and moreso than she didn't throw out some judegemental comment about "immoral" or something similar.
 
cuckolding is about control and finding sexual arousal in being humilated.


Many couples have taken on a LTR "bull" which would be a V of sorts.


However, most women don't wanta LTR with their Bulls, because part of the sexual excitement is the non emotional but pure sexual interactions



Unless Bassman gets off on the idea of being humilated and watching her get fucked silly by her lovers and humilated in the process..Hes just a happy ( perhaps horney) husband who thinks it is hot other men desire his beautiful wife as much as he does. which is more about devotion and gaining great enjoyment that their partner is happy.
 
I totally get your turn-on. My wife has a mutual guy friend we used to work with whom she talks and texts with regularly. I have always told her I totally trusted her , and I could sense it was fulfilling an emotional need for her. When we talked about opening up our marriage, we talked about him and she was shocked that I found the idea of her playing with him exciting....we were talking in bed and when I began sharing that the idea of her giving him oral sex was exciting, I actually got quite hard and she was surprised. We even took the talk into having sex ourselves, talking about if the idea of fucking him turned her on.. ("would it be wrong if I said yes").... I find it very hot. We've had him over and she's "played" with putting her hand in his pants and even a brief bit of performing oral, but unfortunately schedules and kids haven't helped!

This relationship has also helped her relate to my need for poly relationships, though she is still struggling with breaking away from the monogamist idea of one person being perfect for someone forever....
 
I totally get your turn-on. My wife has a mutual guy friend we used to work with whom she talks and texts with regularly. I have always told her I totally trusted her , and I could sense it was fulfilling an emotional need for her. When we talked about opening up our marriage, we talked about him and she was shocked that I found the idea of her playing with him exciting....we were talking in bed and when I began sharing that the idea of her giving him oral sex was exciting, I actually got quite hard and she was surprised. We even took the talk into having sex ourselves, talking about if the idea of fucking him turned her on.. ("would it be wrong if I said yes").... I find it very hot. We've had him over and she's "played" with putting her hand in his pants and even a brief bit of performing oral, but unfortunately schedules and kids haven't helped!

This relationship has also helped her relate to my need for poly relationships, though she is still struggling with breaking away from the monogamist idea of one person being perfect for someone forever....

Agree totally. Some on here might just say this is swinging, or FWB or whatever. But I hope to get to your situation, too, but with everyones consent, and thats why I am on here. Theres masters of relationships on here, and I'm learning everday (i'm a bit addicted to this website, lol).

I'm not even sure theres a label that fits what I can imagine working. A long time FWB for my wife, maybe? :D:D
 
cuckolding is about control and finding sexual arousal in being humilated.


Many couples have taken on a LTR "bull" which would be a V of sorts.


However, most women don't wanta LTR with their Bulls, because part of the sexual excitement is the non emotional but pure sexual interactions



Unless Bassman gets off on the idea of being humilated and watching her get fucked silly by her lovers and humilated in the process..Hes just a happy ( perhaps horney) husband who thinks it is hot other men desire his beautiful wife as much as he does. which is more about devotion and gaining great enjoyment that their partner is happy.

Like like like, thank you. ;)
 
Agree totally. Some on here might just say this is swinging, or FWB or whatever. But I hope to get to your situation, too, but with everyones consent, and thats why I am on here. Theres masters of relationships on here, and I'm learning everday (i'm a bit addicted to this website, lol).

I'm not even sure theres a label that fits what I can imagine working. A long time FWB for my wife, maybe? :D:D

I don't consider it swinging necessarily, as there is a relationship there and she isn't looking for more, at least for the moment. Definitely a secondary kind of thing, as he's married to a frigid woman and is very guarded as far as emotional attachments go....
 
Back
Top