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Old 10-23-2013, 02:46 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,702

Originally Posted by Natja View Post
The reason why you hadn't been corrected is because there are a lot of couples out there who have an interest in projecting a positive spin on the term.
I have seen couples profiles asking for 'their special unicorn' but that is a sure sign of complete inexperience and lack of any sort of research. No one replies and so they then complain until someone points out to them that 'no single woman in the poly world would call herself that because it is a disparaging term.
Schrodingers Cat "corrected" you because she was being honest and thoughtful, it would be a good idea to take her words seriously and not put it down to personal "interpretations" or "sharing (her) ideas".
I'll have to add my agreement to the definition of the unicorn term. You say you enjoy being in love/relationship with a couple for various reasons. But you do have boundaries and the IDEA (!) that you deserve and can demand one on one dates with each member of the sacred couple. Imagine that! The effrontery!

Couples searching for unicorns generally think this woman should agree to only 3way dates, only 3way sex scenes, whereas they, the couple, get to live together one and one, have sex just the 2 of them, of course have dates, visit friends and family, go on vacations, as a 2 person unit.

They think "adding" a woman to their marriage will mean she stays at home, out of sight, or if with them in public, no PDAs, no introduction as their gf. If she wants a child by the guy, uh oh, not sure, whereas the wife of the couple of course can get pregnant. If the couple does have a kid, of course the unicorn will do lots of childcare for their offspring, without being given 2nd mother status. And unicorns need to be fidelitous to their couple. No other partner(s) for her, either a single bf or gf, or another couple. The couple looking for a unicorn thinks having her be poly fi and only having 3way sex and dates will prevent jealousy and discord in the holy couple. The unicorns desires don't matter.

If she doesn't agree to any of these rules, she's out on her ass, while they go forward in coupledom, looking for another woman with low self esteem and weak boundaries who will agree to this substandard relationship status.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 63), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013