If I didn't have a firm grasp on the fact that I don't really know most of the people here, and that the opinions of anonymous posters on an internet forum are not something to take personally, I might feel hurt by that comment. Fortunately, I don't. I understand where you're coming from and appreciate your saying that. But please know that I adjust my answers to the questions and what my intuition tells me about the poster who asked them. I am not always a hard-ass if it seems like that's not what's needed.
Anne, I'd rather you feel comfortable posting, so I'll just avoid your threads from now on and won't answer any of yours. No need to worry now.
Honestly, I am very often tender and careful in communicating to someone, even when I'm being direct, but that never seems to get any acknowledgement around here. Maybe I should just fucking stop posting altogether, lord knows it takes up a lot of time to ponder and write these responses. Sometimes I think about someone all day, or several days, and come back to share how they've affected me and what impressions I have about their situation. I am not thoughtless or always trying to play devil's advocate. People just freak out when I say something that they don't like and they jump to the conclusion that I'm a meanie with a hard line approach. I can't tell you how many times I get private messages a few days or weeks later from the people who initially were offended by what I told them, to personally thank me because it enabled them to see something or think about something they hadn't thought of, blah-blah-blah. I do acknowledge that I can be wrong about what I see in any given situation or problem. I'm NOT coming from a place of feeling high and mighty over anyone.
Geez, it's just my opinion and, like assholes, everyone's got one, so if what I have to say doesn't resonate, no biggie, just move on. Lately all I can do is tell folks here to just picture me saying it in a firm but compassionate, soft voice, with a hand gently on your arm, looking into your eyes with concern. I'm starting to get tired of writing that. I may come off as opinionated, but I'm all about tough love, with an emphasis on the love!
I think I'll just go to bed now.