SchrodingersCat
Active member
I'm so confused.
About?
I'm so confused.
I'm so confused.
Therefore you have demonstrated that you're perfectly fine with either sex and either gender, and so "I only date trans women" is not going to get you out of this one.
What the @#$#$ are you doing telling someone who they are and aren't really interested in? Would you accept that from someone else? @$^# no.However, it does not describe you, because you have a wife (presumably cis) and you're also seeking cis males.
You and I both. but what I've picked up so far is that I'm a gross person for (not exclusively) looking for a Trans Woman. Just a ridiculously sensitive person getting bent out of shape, really.
What the hell. He shouldn't be required to "get out of" anything. You don't have him trapped, despite all the therefores and howevers. Your definition policing notwithstanding, you knew what he was trying to get across, but decided to unload on the guy.
What the @#$#$ are you doing telling someone who they are and aren't really interested in? Would you accept that from someone else? @$^# no.
Uhm, what? You're looking to date a trans woman "because" she's trans? Objectifying much?
It's prioritizing her trans identity over her personal identity. Not meeting someone who "happens to be trans" and accepting her for her, but rather meeting someone to fill a role in your relationship as a status symbol.
Gross.
I'm amused by how much this seems to upset you. I know that's not very nice of me, but I can't help it. I wasn't even intending to get people all riled up on the internet today, but such is the nature of the web.
I'm doubly amused that you're crusading this like it affects you in any way shape or form. Not that it affects me personally either, but I'm active in the trans community and there's a lot of misinformation out there. Here I am just trying to clear the air, and people are getting all mad and stuff. I guess I shouldn't expect any different, being the internet and all, but I continue to be optimistic.
A trans woman doesn't want to be thought of as anything other than a woman. As a woman of colour, I wouldn't want someone who fetishized my race, and I can imagine many trans women would want someone who fetishized the fact they were born in the wrong body.
I wouldn't want someone who is "into" dating women of colour. I want someone who is into dating me. I'm a woman of colour, but I'm not just a woman of colour. The colour of my skin is not a particularly important part of me. I'm sure many trans women feel the same about their sex and gender. But no, I wouldn't want a partner who is dating me because of the browness of my skin.
You assumed a whole bunch of stuff about the guys motivations and ended up being wrong. You were rude and instead of apologizing you're doubling down.
Example of tokenism: "I'm forming a group poly arrangement, and I'd like to add a trans woman to that group. Yeah yeah, she has to be kind and considerate and all that, but above all, she has to be trans. I already have a cis wife, so that box is checked. I'm also seeking to check off the cis male box. When all those boxes are checked off, my poly group will be complete."
Just like in other segments of society, transsexual people represent the fringe of the population, the same within the poly world as well?
Definitely feel like finding a trans woman is a unicorn. My wife and I have been looking and haven't had much success... and by much success, I mean none at all. Most of the time we've found nothing but women who are purely interested in sex. We're hoping to have a group and I'd love to have a trans woman in it, but that seems highly unlikely at this point.
Looks like you didn't notice my post earlier. He's not looking for cis males. The word was "mates". As in, partners. As in "I'm looking for trans women, but also for cis women. I just didn't specify it because it wasn't relevant" which puts a damper on your theory that it's about checking boxes, since either trans or cis would both be fine with him.
But as someone who hasn't been fetishized that I know of, it's probably difficult for me to understand the feeling.
But if you reject the people who are actually attracted to you, it just doesn't seem to leave you with much.
Yes, they want people to be attracted to them, but for the same reasons as we all have: because we're smart, because we're funny, because we work out and eat well and have a smokin' hot bod.