If poly is "responsible or ethical non-mongamy," as quite often it is described as, what does that mean? Responsible to who? What is "ethical?"
Responsibility in non-monogamy means taking the necessary precautions to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of disease, and willingness to deal with the aftermath of any such occurring. It also means openly discussing these things with all partners and refraining from sexual activities until such agreements are made that everyone can be comfortable with, and refraining from using alcohol and drugs that can impede judgment, especially with new partners.
Is it a communities responsibility to rally around and pass on information about its members that are not so on the band wagon or clueless or neglectful with their responsibility and ethics?
Thanks in advance as I am rather stuck on this in general in life and have run across some painful experiences where my thinking it is my responsibility to flush out information so everyone can learn and grow has not been welcomed. It was seen as gossip as opposed to educating from peoples experiences that didn't work. I don't want to get stuck in that again without meaning to.
If poly is "responsible or ethical non-mongamy," as quite often it is described as, what does that mean? Responsible to who? What is "ethical?"
Redpepper never mentioned saying anything like that. I think that certainly is stepping over the line though. Getting involved in peoples' personal lives. But I think using your own experiences to educate people is fine. Say it was your spouse who was breaking these boundaries. Then it's no longer gossip, it's your own life.It sounds like gossip to me. Do you mean you'd tell someone in your local poly community, an acquaintance, not a good friend, that their spouse was breaking their boundaries? Like, "I saw your h having dinner with this blonde bimbo last night, out of town"?
Flushing out info? Sounds like shit-stirring to me. Sorry.
The word "ethical" is subjective to me.
Yes, this is true. It all depends on the set of standards (ethics) in place within a specific culture or community. Everyone has their own unique sense of ethics.
RP, "What can one do?"
I think a written warning may help express the seriousness of the ethics breakdown and also a platform to help layout the proper information. Perhaps getting others in the community to sign the warning letter will help show the solidarity of the community....also it acts as an ethics committee if one doesn't already exist.
Sometimes lying isn't exactly unethical. Ever try planning a surprise party?True. However I doubt that lying to people can ever be called ethical, and this seems to be the biggest "ethical violation" I see people doing to each other (in monogamous or poly relationships).
Sometimes lying isn't exactly unethical. Ever try planning a surprise party?
Sourgirl
Whats wrong with you ....how many times do we have to show you the GD hand shake ...come on pay attention....last time until you get written up. Your file is gettin pretty thick as is.
And to the bulk of your comments .....Could we get an AMEN sister. Very fiery you go girl.....you rock!