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Old 10-21-2009, 09:11 PM
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greenearthal greenearthal is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 208

I made a very dramatic transition in my life. I went from being a very monogamous minded, volatile and jealousy-prone person, to the polyamorous compersive, even-kkel fellow that I have become. I often tell my friends "I made it to the mountain top", because the who "what's the worst that could happen" exercise unfolded before my eyes, polyamory did it's worst to me and I came out the other side still polyamorous.

There were a ton of factors in my transition, but the main two factors were time and experience. I really don't see how I could have completed that transition any faster than I did and it took me two years (for most of the shift to be complete, I don't think you ever get to actually land and stop shifting).

And the only reason I think I was able to make such a radical shift so fast was because of a wealth of experiences of others that I could draw on. I met and spoke with and read about and befriended so many polyamorous people that I was able to figure out what about it could work for me and what I might be ready for someday but not now, and what just isn't ever going to be for me ever (there are some things that bring some polyamorous people great joy but just leaves me muttering "I just can't get down with that").

I really love the word compersion. I still remember the first time I heard Minx use it on Polyamory Weekly. And I said "Ah ha! That's where H wants me to go." But I was still not quite there yet. I was getting there, but there was a whole bunch of programming in my head about how unnatural it was to be okay with actually seeing "your woman" enjoying affection with and for another.

I guess all I can really say was that for me personally it was worth the time and effort it took to get the rest of the way there.
me n the band, singin our song
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