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Old 06-13-2018, 12:16 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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Hi Polyglam,

Every jealous feeling is triggered by something external ... and sometimes the trigger is that you're being treated badly. In this case, he is "revenge dating," or at least you suspect that he is dating in a vengeful way. This would spark a jealous reaction in just about anyone, so don't feel bad about it. Your internal mechanisms are trying to alert you to the danger, or at least to the potential danger.

I assume that he will deny it if you ask him directly ... though I could be wrong. In any case, if he claims it's not revenge dating, that doesn't prove it's not revenge dating. You are going to have to trust your instincts on this one, even if you know you might be mistaken.

If this is revenge dating, then he has been hurt over your dating practices, and he wants you to be hurt in the same way. Doesn't mean you should keep seeing him, just helps you distance/protect yourself in a relatively forgiving way. He was genuinely hurt and you feel genuinely bad about that, even if his way of dealing with that hurt was messed up.

It sounds like you've worked out what you need to do. And that's a good thing. Hang in there, things are probably going to get harder before they get easier. You can do this.

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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