redpepper
Active member
As the result of another thread....
Ari, I'm disappointed. I thought I could be friends and I could treat another as I would a boyfriend and not have sex with them. This is the relationship I have with my non sexual boyfriend and it works for us. Maybe its about talking about it and agreeing to it? You mean you and I, who the capacity to treat others as if they were our partner would not be able to be friends this way? You wouldn't want that with someone like me because we won't be having sex with me? That's sad, and disappointing. I'm glad to know this as I wouldn't want to invest and find out that it was for nothing. How can one tell ahead of time.
LR, its funny I remember you and I talking about this previously. At that time I would have written no. Not at all. I was beginning to believe I was not Poly, and finding another would never happen.
I think overall, Poly has been worth it. Pengrah naturally fits the mold and its good to see her so happy and excited over someone. In my case, it does feel natural. An extension of what I was already doing.
I had lots of female friends, I doted over them all, treating them like girlfriends, but never getting that reciprocated. And honestly never expecting it. I just like to treat the women in my life well. But it did come to a head at one point, when one of them said "I like having you around, you are like having a boyfriend, but I don't have to fuck you"...needless to say that hit me the wrong way. Thats when I realized I love, loving other people. But that I needed to start enjoying people that may love me back.
I have found someone to hopefully do that. Only time will tell
Poly has been one of the most tumultuous lessons in my life, but one of the best as well.
Ari, I'm disappointed. I thought I could be friends and I could treat another as I would a boyfriend and not have sex with them. This is the relationship I have with my non sexual boyfriend and it works for us. Maybe its about talking about it and agreeing to it? You mean you and I, who the capacity to treat others as if they were our partner would not be able to be friends this way? You wouldn't want that with someone like me because we won't be having sex with me? That's sad, and disappointing. I'm glad to know this as I wouldn't want to invest and find out that it was for nothing. How can one tell ahead of time.
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