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Old 12-26-2012, 05:18 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
On the reasons I put a "three strikes you are out" in my playbook for how I want to be treated in relationships is for two reasons.

1) If the other person is still on the same chronic issue and I've had to bring it up 3 times to their attention? It show's me THEY aren't seriously trying to mend that.

2) If I've had to bring it up 3 times? It shows ME my needs are still not being met. Prevents me from letting my emotional attachment to the person make excuses for their behavior -- them not being present and responsible in the relationship (oh, they are tired from work, they don't really mean it, etc) and override what is best for my long term health.
I'm curious about this, GG. To which sorts of things does it apply? To me, patience while people work on growth and self-improvement is part of love.

e.g. some people have issues they've been working on for years, things stemming from childhood upbringing or major trauma later on. In those cases, it's not like there's a switch you can just flick after the first strike. None of these are things that randomly crop up after 2 years or anything. They're things I learn about within the first few month and then decide whether or not to accept in the relationship. If I decide to accept them, I don't think it's fair to keep bringing them up unless they start to regress.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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