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Old 09-03-2012, 10:14 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,732

Last night I noticed Mono's lady friend and him were messaging on fb. Trying to follow my own agreement with myself that I wouldn't bring it up or go to that place of feeling threatened and fearful of his cheating on me or leaving me, I left it alone.

What I couldn't do is change how it affected me so I remained quiet and worked on it within myself. In time he asked what was up and asked if I had seen that she was writing to him. Its was the first time he had asked me to engage in a conversation with him about her. Usually its me who brings it up in a fit of feeling destraught.

I said I had seen her face on his tablet screen and that I was working on not reacting negatively. He held me close and told me she had messaged him to tell him about a song she liked. He said that everything was back to normal between them. I asked what that meant and he said it meant that the friendship they had was as it used to be. Just friendship. He said that he isn't going to leave me, that I don't need to worry, he loves me and has no reason to be with anyone else.

It was the first time he reassured me without my asking. I immediately felt reassured and believed him. I asked him today if he noticed the difference in how we related to one another because of his reassurance. He said he did. I told him I hoped he would reassure me more often now as it just works better for both of us if he tells me honestly how he feels in the moment. It works to do as I request in regards to getting my needs met.

I am so thankful to of made this new turn around with him. I feel it might be the dawn of some new headway for our relationship. I feel like I am breathing fresh air.
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