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Old 04-05-2013, 05:36 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 2,057

Originally Posted by crisplove View Post
...I have a similar concept that I called the hut theory, but I didn't ever think I would live it so I shelved it.

My hut theory was that I could be in relationship with a man, but still maintain my individual living space. We would have separate huts. AND, he would have several huts that he could visit or stay in. We could all live in close proximity, but we would have our own spaces. We would visit and interact with each other. In a sense, we would be a family. Similar to Big Love on HBO, but not necessarily with marriage vows.

He would be in relationship would any women he wanted. I never really thought about who the other women would be in relationship with. I didn't see myself with multiple men. The reason I liked the hut theory is because I have LOTS of interest outside of being with one person. I like the company of men. I like interacting and relating with them. I love the physical intimacy. I also like having my own space. I like doing my own thing. AND, I feel a sisterhood with women that I want to develop in deep relationships, not many relationships. I saw us all hanging out together.

So, while I said no to poly on approach, when he explained his idea of poly to me, I found that there was significant overlap with my hut theory. That's how I agreed to move forward.
OK - I have to read the rest of your post and the rest of this thread...but I am chuckling at the moment so I feel the need to share...

Your "hut theory" sounds a lot like my "cabin boy" fantasy!

So...I have a large property (20+ acres). If I were to suddenly find myself alone (i.e. not in my current configuration) - how would I ideally construct my life?

I like the idea of gathering all of the people that I like (a limited number... I don't "like" many people) together on my "compound". They would each have their own place (cabin/hut/etc.) that they built within the compound. Each person could conduct their lives as they saw fit within their own cabin but I could invite them to "my" house if I felt so inclined...

I have control over what happens in "my" space, and they are free to explore whatever they want in "their" space...

(This probably reflects a fear that I have that Dude is going to find some other girl that will "take over" my hermit cave...I really, really can't tolerate "outsiders" in my space. She may be nice/wonderful/fantastic/etc. but that doesn't mean I want her in my HOUSE! - sleep with/love my Dude ...fine, but don't try to re-arrange my LIBRARY)


PS. I'm less worried about the MrS side of things - he's had 21 years to find another girl to disrupt my routine...and has shown no interest. (After I pick myself up off of the floor, I will probably just build an addition for her...but she STILL can't rearrange my library!)
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-always-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (26+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (8+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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