our poly life

Thank you so much for continuing your blog. I just found it today and read through all of it. I look forward to reading more.:D
 
I enjoy reading the updates about your relationship. Too many threads are negative and like it was said before, in crisis. So this gives me hope! And I definitely agree with another reader that you all act like adults and its so beautiful! I look forward to more updates. :D
 
A great weekend

Hello all, since their seem to be some people still reading the blog I have a few minutes to update. The weekend came in again with me working friday evening and J coming back home after a long week friday evening as well. J and D as you know always get friday as "their night" and had made plans for a dinner date. J got back and he and D went out for the evening. They had a nice dinner in town and were going to go to a local place for a little music and a drink but as J got back later then he thought and D having to work saturday they came back home. After some cuddle time they retired to the bedroom for a nice night of pleasure and then cuddle time till morning. D said it was good and as you all know she loves to cuddle up in our arms to sleep. Must have been a good night, when I got back the house was dark, not a sound to be heard and D said she overslept her alarm in the morning almost being late for work. J got up with her and made her morning coffee but due to his long week and the early hour went back to bed. Both were gone by the time I got up as saturday is about the only day I get to sleep in.....lol. J took his son school shopping and then to lunch, I mowed and gardened and D came home after work all smiles.. Grilled out, J went to a family thing with his daughter for the evening. D and I went out for an evening coffee then she hit the hay due to her working early.....She did wake up for a nice "romp" when I came to bed even though I was going to let her sleep......was fantastic though :p. Sunday brought more work around the house, Helped J get some things from his old place into his truck and then stored them at our place. Nice grilled steak dinner and D and my son was over to have dinner with us, was nice as he hadn't been in town for about 3 weeks so seeing him made us happy. Later in the eveing the 3 of us cuddled up on the couch with D in the middle, both of us holding and stroking her to her delight...was very nice for the 3 of us to relax for a while and just chat. D was glad to have us both there in a non sexual way for the evening. J went to get some sleep before work and D said she would like to join him for a while so off they went. Not much going on at first but as always they couldn't resist each other and sounded like they had some fun....actually confirmed when D came to our bed later on and cuddled up next to me. J is off for another week of work but the weekend will be coming around again....J and D may go away for a day or 2 with my encouragement to spend some "alone time". NRE aside I feel they should have some whole days/nights together for this to work long term and they feel the same. If it works out I am sure I will have some anxiety over it but I know D is in good hands and nothing bad will happen. On a good note J is becoming more settled every week. He and I have plans to finish his room our after we get the new roof we are having put on and also we are planning on a new deck/porch to "our home" as he now calls it much to D's delight.....lol. Will update again with anything new, have a great day everyone!!
 
Update time

Hello all, to those who have been following and giving advice/thoughts along the way thanks and hope to get more advice/opinions along the way.

As for this week, good/bad, Over all very good although there seem to be some gilt issues from time to time with D. She enjoy's her time with J but feels some gilt later on...unfounded but still there. This week due to the holiday weekend J was home thursday evening. I was at my work for the night as I am every thursday. While chatting with D online she was excited to tell me about J being home for the weekend early. The 3 of us had talked about them spending a weekend away together since the whole time balance seems to be a little one sided towards me so this seemed to be perfect. J came in mid evening thursday and since D knew he was coming in she had a nice dinner ready for him waiting so once he arrived I told her to have a great night and enjoy as I would stay out of the way to give them some time for which D was very thankful. They had dinner, cuddled on the couch for a while and retired to bed. D said that J was very tired from trying to get home and spend some time but they did make love for a bit before sleeping the night away. For those that have followed we own 2 houses close by so I went to the other house friday and stayed there friday and saturday nights as well so they could have an entire weekend together with no interuptions although we did have to do some work around the house and yard on saturday. J was unable to go on any away type trip due to family obligations but D said they had a fantastic evening/night friday. Dinner date, some TV and lots of cuddling before what she said was a "really good" night of lovemaking with a nice morning session as well.....lol. When I finally started the yard work very late in the morning they were up, J went to his family thing and D helped around the house with a huge smile on her face. I told her if she was wanting it I would spend another night at out other house to give them lots of time. J got back as soon as he could and while I did have some evening paperwork/bills to take care of I got "out of the way" asap as they settled on the couch for the night cuddled up together. D said she and J had a pretty good night then as well, making up for not having much time together with another love making session that she enjoyed. Sunday I was told by D to please come home cause she was feeling guilty about spending all that time. I don't know what to say to get rid of the gilts so if anyone has an idea let me know. I sometime feel some jealousy but deal with it and D assures me there is no need for the jealousy. I told her the same thing about her guilt but.....not so much help. She and J are going away for a weekend in november to niagra falls so we need to nip this now. I am actually dealing with it better then she is at the moment......lol. Sunday brought D and I together again, great night cuddled up, J gone for the evening with his younger son and his grown daughter. D and I had a nice evening falling asleep with her cuddled up to me. Today J has to go back to work in the afternoon/ evening. And all of us going into another week. Hope to update again soon and enjoy if your following.
 
Thanks for sharing! A bit of jealousy and a bit of guilt would be normal. I would suggest to just allow these feelings, acknowledge them to one another and then move on. Trying to deny or stifle feelings that are normal is where problems can crop up.

Sometimes if feelings are extreme, a behavioral change could be in order, but sometimes (especially when things seem to be going so well) just acknowledging the feelings as normal might be all that is necessary.

Good luck and keep sharing!!
 
update time.

Well, I hadn't planned on being this long before posting again so here goes. We are still in our poly life and things are still moving along with D and J enjoying their weekends together. D continues to have some guilt but we are dealing with that and also some jealousy on my part but I have been keeping that in check pretty well. J is home every friday afternoon and I continue to give them that night together and most of the time saturday night as well. J brings his son for the weekend quite a bit and he stays with us although I bow out at bedtime on saturday normally to give them some private time together. Sunday is hit and miss although a good share of the time we spend that night the three of us together....not in bed but just around the house before J departs for the week again. Their love continues to grow and they are more open with affection as long as we are alone...ie no kids around as we have not "come out" to them as of yet although I think on some level they know. D and J are going on a weekend trip in a few weeks and very much both looking forward to it leaving friday as soon as they can get away until sunday night sometime. D has some reservations about it but know they need that time to "gel" somemore with no distractions. Not sure how I will be that weekend but it should all be good. D would like me to also have the love she has with J but not only is that hard to find....finding a female seems to be harder then one would think. I wouldn't rule it out but as of now I am not expecting it to happen. J and D make a cute couple, it is nice to see her so happy with her having 2 men that adore her. We are headed into a weekend here with J just having a birthday this week so it should be a special friday/saturday with some talk of them going for an overnight away this saturday although not sure that will happen with our schedules but maybe. I will update more later and thanks for reading....
 
It has been a while since I posted about things so this might be long....sorry. The weekend trip is finally here!! D and J have been looking forward to this for a long time and I am on board with it cause I know they need their time....but I am feeling lonely and left out at the moment. I didn't want to show it the last few days cause I knew it would be a bad thing for them but....J and D are doing well, they spend every friday together and most saturday nights as well. J has totally moved into our daily lives and it is nice to have him here even though it is just weekends since he works away during the week. This week is different though and should cement D and J's relationship for good. Not only are they in Niagra Falls on a romantic trip J doesn't have to work monday cause his granddaughter is having surgery so he is staying home this week. I worked thrusday and friday so I haven't been around since wednesday really giving them time. D has been feeling some guilt about it but she still was looking forward to the trip. I haven't heard from them since before they left so I am sure it is going well. They will be coming home tomorrow evening but I will be at work so they will be together till J leaves for work tuesday night since he is off the first part of the week. D has said she will let me know how things went and if they are closer then before....I am sure they will be. Tonight I am sitting alone at home though...kinda not sure how to feel since this is the first time they have gone away for a weekend. I am happy for them but as states a little left out feeling is there. Hope everything works out for them and I can't wait for D's return....tuesday will either be a great night if things went well I guess I will have to let everyone know how it went.....and any advice on what to do with the lonleyness on my end??
 
Wow thanks for writing. You are amazing and generous to your wife and her friend and bow to you! I don't have advice just being a cheerleader :D

So many poly people are younger than I am and I thought that was how they took to it more easily. You guys got age and and you're making poly work. Awesome:D
 
One of the things you could do about loneliness is meet a few people with the idea that you may actually enjoy having a relationship with someone else also. You seem to enjoy polyamory so far- maybe you could consider taking advantage of the poly lifestyle by enjoying the love of someone else! I have felt guilty in the past when I was having an active poly life and Richard wasn't- so now that he has someone also- I don't feel guilty any more and I am happy for him! Just a thought!
 
reply

Idealst, I have tried to find someone else with her blessing.....no luck!! Seems it is a very hard thing to find. I have tried to meet people, online web sites...you name it but not anyone. I am starting to get a complex.....lol. If it were ment to be and happened I would welcome it for sure but for now I am just getting along with the way things are. She is happy, he is happy and I am ok with it and for the most part happy although I do sometimes feel left out when they are away or spending nights together. I think the fact that we are all friends makes it better though so we will have to see where things lead.
 
Idealst, I have tried to find someone else with her blessing.....no luck!! Seems it is a very hard thing to find. I have tried to meet people, online web sites...you name it but not anyone. I am starting to get a complex.....lol. If it were ment to be and happened I would welcome it for sure but for now I am just getting along with the way things are. She is happy, he is happy and I am ok with it and for the most part happy although I do sometimes feel left out when they are away or spending nights together. I think the fact that we are all friends makes it better though so we will have to see where things lead.

Compersion for another person's joy is a powerful feeling, and it may keep giving you enough feelings of satisfaction that won't leave you 'lonely'. I found over the years that being alone was rather pleasant almost every time it happened. Never felt lonely once the initial adjustment to poly living happened. Still have the same feeling, and frankly I always looked forward to my own time when a partner and their SO spent time together. Came to eagerly look forward to it (bachelor living is awesome when youre not a bachelor anymore!). You seem similar, as in I think you'll find it the same way after a while.

While I can have as many partners as I want, the thrill of the pursuit of new love is less interesting to me than my own passions and interests right now. If one comes along, great, but I don't care if it doesn't. :)
 
the wheels are falling off here

Well, again it has been a while but this time there is some bad news for all involved.....It seems J also had another woman he was seeing that he also had a past with. We kinda new he was with her some and D was up and down about it but long story short...too many details to go into without boring everyone. This other woman found out about the poly v we had and he is moving out this weekend when he gets back. I think I am taking it harder then D is she just said as long as we have our love for eachother it is good and just not ment to be with J. I have a feeling friday is going to be interesting with him moving out unless something changes. I will post again soon.
 
I'm so sorry. Hopefully you three (or four) can work something out but that is a blow to your trust in him. Thank you for writing about your lives. My husband and I are considering poly and your experiences are a great model for us.
 
Hello all, it has been a long time since the last post but thought I would finally update. J moved out, came back to get the rest of his things and we have not seen him since. D is ok with it since our love is strong and non ending for eachother. We have finally fallen back into our normal lives. We both wish it had worked out better but J just didn't choose our life together over his other life. Maybe too soon after his divorce, maybe just too much for him to comprehend...not sure there but although D and missed him and I missed seeing her that happy in the good times it is all good, we are doing well and still very much in love. Would we do it again...maybe if things were different. We have talked about the possibility but have not acted on it. We would be open to finding a female over a male if it happens again so we will see how life goes for us. Hard to believe things went from great to over that fast but guess thats the way life is sometimes. It was more about sex for J then the love and family that we are about. Please don't let this influence others to not try it....the only regret we have is that it had to end the way it did. We both wish J had been more in love then in lust but we will know if it happens again. Thanks for all the support from the readers of the blog...
 
Thanks for letting us know what's going on! I have enjoyed following your posts and I was wondering how things were going! Please keep us updated as you move forward in your life together!
 
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