Well, I guess we need the context. Considering she had her tube tied, was it a "I won't get snipped, you get your tubes tied" kind of thing, or did you talk about it and you personally didn't feel comfortable getting snipped so she did it, or something else?
Weeellll.....It was 13 years ago, and I still felt that I would be loosing something if I was snipped. Like I would loose my sex drive or something. Since we dated our last couple, and he was snipped and had no issues with sex drive, I have felt more secure in the knowledge that will not happen....So I kinda told her "No way!"
And since neither of us wanted anymore kids, it made sense to have ONE of us get clipped. Hers was more invasive, but it's done now and out of the way.
I can understand how the idea of potentially having another child from your wife, that you have a more comfortable relationship with, would be less scary and therefore the idea of getting snipped, which can be psychologically hard, wasn't "worth it". But now that there might be a risk for someone you aren't married with, it's more of an incentive because on the one hand you want to protect a future child, who would be in a tricky situation being a lovechild, and make sure you don,t put them in that position, and on the other hand for yourself you also might not want to risk having to pay but not being able to see your child as much because this relationship isn't as "secure", and for your GF you might worry that it would be hard to be a "single mom" and possibly be seen as a slut, and for your wife that it might be hard that you have kids with someone else, etc, etc.
Wow, some issues I hadn't even THOUGHT of yet. LOL Actually, our gf is 45....so for her to bear another child would be difficult on her physically as well as mentally. Especially considering her children are all out of the house.
It just involves more people and that might be what decided you. Also, now that it's not about one couple being sterile (you and your wife) but there are more relationships because you're poly, you might be starting to see it on an individual basis, that is every person becomes responsible of their own birth control, it's not the couple but each individual, as each individual might be involved in more than one relationship. In that case, vasectomy makes a lot of sense because it protects ALL your partners from an unwanted pregnancy, rather than needing another form of birth control with each one of them individually.
Not really an issue as we are all three poly-fi. My wife and I don't want any others. (at this time
) and neither does our GF. (at this time
) So for us, this is as large as our poly family will get.....at this time. LOL I add that because you never know what the future may hold when it comes to love and relationships. 20 years ago, I NEVER would have thought I would have delved into the swinging lifestyle....let alone be married to a woman who is also poly!
I knew I wanted more than one....but I thought I was weird and needed a psychiatrist or something. LOL
Also, how long has it been? It's also possible that while you weren't willing to do it at the time, enough time has passed that you feel it's the right thing to do too, and not just for your girlfriend, but for your wife as well, for yourself, for everyone involved.
It's been about 13 years. And back then, we weren't swinging yet. Hadn't even thought about it yet......but it was shortly afterward that we met my wife's first boyfriend since we got married. He happened to be my best friend at the time. Well, one thing led to another, and we're glad she had her tubes tied, because after about 6 months or so of playing, we were fluid bonded.
For ME....The issue was always that I was going to loose something....my manhood, my sex drive, SOMETHING. So I was AFRAID to do it. NOW, with research readily available on the web, FRIENDS who have had the procedure done successfully and had no ill effects.....I'm not AS afraid of it anymore. In fact, I kinda look forward to my wife and our GF pampering me and my man parts. LOL