sage
New member
I can see how for people who identify as poly, being asked how they got that way is a much the same as asking someone who's gay how they got that way.
I don't identify as poly although if polyamory has a spectrum I probably sit somewhere in the middle, between poly and mono. When I was married I couldn't commit to my husband and played around (so did he). Therefore when I fell in love with a poly guy the idea of it didn't concern me. I thought I would just carry on the way I had been living, only honestly. What I didn't count on was that in a healthy loving relationship my desire for anyone but my partner dried up. His hasn't and this has caused some tribulations in our five year relationship.
I have tried poly relationships as a way to improve my acceptance and comfort in my partner's other relationships, but to date this hasn't helped, much. Recently he has started dating my sister and they have become very close. I'm wondering at this point if I have to stop loving my partner in such a mono way and so I'm giving poly a go again in an attempt to detach from him a little. I'm thinking that the way he needs to be loved and the way I love him are a little out of alignment.
I don't identify as poly although if polyamory has a spectrum I probably sit somewhere in the middle, between poly and mono. When I was married I couldn't commit to my husband and played around (so did he). Therefore when I fell in love with a poly guy the idea of it didn't concern me. I thought I would just carry on the way I had been living, only honestly. What I didn't count on was that in a healthy loving relationship my desire for anyone but my partner dried up. His hasn't and this has caused some tribulations in our five year relationship.
I have tried poly relationships as a way to improve my acceptance and comfort in my partner's other relationships, but to date this hasn't helped, much. Recently he has started dating my sister and they have become very close. I'm wondering at this point if I have to stop loving my partner in such a mono way and so I'm giving poly a go again in an attempt to detach from him a little. I'm thinking that the way he needs to be loved and the way I love him are a little out of alignment.