stillskies
New member
So, my wife, our girlfriend and I are a little over two months into this dating thing. So far, it's been going pretty well? I mean, we haven't really had much conflict, though we're all working through our own issues and insecurities that engaging in this kind of relationship has brought up.
One of the issues that my wife is having is feeling as though she is inadequate as a partner for me specifically. She has the perception that she should be everything I need and that, since I have feelings for someone outside of the relationship, that she is not. I have tried to explain that that is not the case, but she is so tied up with her perceptions that she has a hard time understanding.
She's also struggling with whether or not she can feel romantic feelings towards someone other than me. The three of us have already agreed that if she can't, or if any of us feels like this is not going well or for whatever reason we want to walk away from the threeway relationship, we can. Neither R nor I are pressuring M with anything and keep telling her to go at her own speed, which she feels isn't fast enough. Right now, she feels very close to R, and she enjoys spending time with her when we see her, and holding her hand and cuddling on the couch and whatnot, but she's not sure if what she feels is a romantic like.
So, she thinks that if she can figure at least one of these things out, it would greatly help her so that she can try to resolve her own feelings about everything. The entire relationship between the relationship is consensual, we communicate about practically everything, and everyone made their own independent decisions to engage in it. M says she feels no resentment about anything, but that it's just a difficult transition for her. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has any suggestions or advice on dealing with the feeling of inadequacy in a relationship? I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, but because we have such radically different views on what a partner should get from a relationship, it's hard for me to entirely comprehend. R and I match up on a lot of these world views, and we're both trying to be there and reassure someone that we love and care about while trying to understand.
One of the issues that my wife is having is feeling as though she is inadequate as a partner for me specifically. She has the perception that she should be everything I need and that, since I have feelings for someone outside of the relationship, that she is not. I have tried to explain that that is not the case, but she is so tied up with her perceptions that she has a hard time understanding.
She's also struggling with whether or not she can feel romantic feelings towards someone other than me. The three of us have already agreed that if she can't, or if any of us feels like this is not going well or for whatever reason we want to walk away from the threeway relationship, we can. Neither R nor I are pressuring M with anything and keep telling her to go at her own speed, which she feels isn't fast enough. Right now, she feels very close to R, and she enjoys spending time with her when we see her, and holding her hand and cuddling on the couch and whatnot, but she's not sure if what she feels is a romantic like.
So, she thinks that if she can figure at least one of these things out, it would greatly help her so that she can try to resolve her own feelings about everything. The entire relationship between the relationship is consensual, we communicate about practically everything, and everyone made their own independent decisions to engage in it. M says she feels no resentment about anything, but that it's just a difficult transition for her. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has any suggestions or advice on dealing with the feeling of inadequacy in a relationship? I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, but because we have such radically different views on what a partner should get from a relationship, it's hard for me to entirely comprehend. R and I match up on a lot of these world views, and we're both trying to be there and reassure someone that we love and care about while trying to understand.