Thread: gf problem?
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Old 10-09-2012, 09:20 AM
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jones jones is offline
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It sounds like you know the answer to your question, but are refusing to accept it.
this could be a possible, I think more I don't want to accept it but writing it down and hearing other people's view as outsiders does make it clearer.

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It's easy for G to say you're overreacting, he's got the best of both worlds and can't seem to put himself in your shoes. How would he feel if the tables were turned? If you met some hotty lesbian who put up with him just to be with you? He would probably like it about as much as you like your current situation. I doubt that he's even aware of the dynamics between you and her. He's a guy, they're kinda daft that way.
he would feel very hurt I am sure.

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But, like it or not, it is your current situation. Although she's too chicken shit to say it explicitly, she's told you in no uncertain terms that she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. She may feel that losing you romantically means losing your friendship, as well as possibly losing your boyfriend romantically. At this point, the quickest route to recovery might be for you to take the bull by the horns and tell her you can't be in a relationship where your romantic love is not returned. At that point, you need to decide if you can still be friends with her, possibly after a cool-down period. Letting her use your love to fulfill her friendship needs is not being fair to yourself.
I have taken a step back from her since sunday, we were suppose to spend the evening together but before they were due to come they cancelled, g is upset because yet again we haven't seen j and she is ignoring his questions to why she couldn't come. tbh I have been her friend while she sleeps with my oh for months now so my bed has already been made but I am not sure if I want to carry on with it anymore. something for me to think about.

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Also, be aware that this probably isn't about you in particular. It's not uncommon for bisexuals to fall more to one end of the spectrum than the other. You say she's had relationships with other women, but you really have no way of knowing how intimate or sexual those relationships were. It could very well be that they were experimentation, and that she's more keen on the "idea" of being bisexual than she is keen about actually being with women.
this is true, I have no idea apart from I know she has three men she is seeing and that doesn't include her bf.
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