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Old 01-16-2013, 11:59 PM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 827

So I gather he may be monogamous and not poly?

I started a relationship with a long term friend, he was going to move from Canada to WA to move in with my then husband and I (and be a roomie/bf), and it would've had the potential to have a co-primary situation, but it was only under the agreement that he would be dating too. I had no desire to be his only partner and be "responsible" for meeting all his sexual and other needs.

He said he would and said he would, but he didn't, and it got pretty clear he wasn't going to. He was monogamous, and admitted later that he was attempting to be poly just so he could be involved with me. (edit - thats fine if everybody is above board about what they want, but it's a disaster when somebody isn't being honest.)

It's a lot of responsibility to take that on for a long term relationship, responsibility that I had no desire to carry. Have you discussed what that means if he is only going to date you forever? I am very glad I got that clear with my friend before it go to the moving to another country part where he sat at home depressed while I was off with another partner.

Is he reading books about poly and how to deal with this stuff? Maybe he should post himself for more useful advice for help to figure out just what might work for him, lots of non native English speakers post here.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 01-17-2013 at 12:02 AM.
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