I am so glad I live alone, have no kids, and keep my relationships separate. It's so much simpler this way!
LR does have a lot on her plate. And it takes a lot of work to be a good Domme and sub at once, and I am sure she's good.
I am so glad I live alone, have no kids, and keep my relationships separate. It's so much simpler this way!
I am so glad I live alone, have no kids, and keep my relationships separate. It's so much simpler this way!
I am looking at the kids thinking "what lesson is it that is being sent when they see a parent struggling and that parent can't/won't address the person they are struggling with?"
Kids DO SEE. All of the 'we can't tell our kids because' well-to be frank those kids aren't as naive as people think. They see much much much more than they admit or repeat.
So here you are as a parent telling kids the importance of direct, honest, forthright, considerate communication.. telling them about the need to take responsibility for themselves, their emotions, their needs..... but you aren't?
Um yeah. Wrong message.
I keep looking for the FB 'like' button to mash down.
Kids are most definitely not naive. My ex-husband is going to get his ass handed to him one day because he fails to see it, and all I can do is live my life being honest with the kids, and open to answering any questions they have - without pushing them off or lying to them. I have to consider that the way in which I live my life is also an instruction to them, and that is a HUGE responsibility.
I shouldn't need to speak up about a metamour mistreating me,
my partner should already be making sure that doesn't happen.
I shouldn't need rules to ensure my partner(S) protect and maintain our relationship,
that should be something they do naturally. I don't want to babysitting anyone. I don't want to have to speak for my partner, I don't want to have to overrule him, I don't want to have to have his relationships for him. If he needs that much help to maintain simple levels of decency, maybe he doesn't have the right mentality for maintaining multiple relationships.
We're humans not machines!
Yes thank you.
And at least in our world-we're teammates, so we work together.
When one of us screws up, it screws the team.
We back each other up, we are each others strength. We are each others fan club. We are each others conscious sometimes.
**we means all three of us**
I missed the original context of this, LR, but you are coming across as sounding crazy-jealous of any women who want to date Maca.
They think it's ANNOYING when people expect that everything needs to go through a third party.
If I have an issue with one of their friends or coworkers or boss-I call them myself.
I shouldn't need to speak up about a metamour mistreating me, my partner should already be making sure that doesn't happen. I shouldn't need rules to ensure my partner(S) protect and maintain our relationship, that should be something they do naturally. I don't want to babysitting anyone. I don't want to have to speak for my partner, I don't want to have to overrule him, I don't want to have to have his relationships for him.
However, the idea of having to police their other relationships because your partner(s) are unable to maintain those boundaries is undesirable at best.
If you're asking your partner to tell his other partner how to treat you,
It's my job to tell people where my boundaries are and when they're being crossed
I agree that it's one's job to tell one's partner(s) where their boundaries lay and when they have been crossed. It's the idea that one should routinely expect to have to maintain those boundaries in other relationships that I wholly disagree with.
OK, it took me a minute to realize that you said if you have an issue with their boss... At first I was imagining a situation where Maca comes home complaining about his boss being a jerk, and you call up the boss and tell him off. Recently, Gralson had some trouble with some bullshit at work. I'm just trying to imagine how much he'd freak the fuck out if I called up his supervisor and stuck my nose into his professional life like that. It would not go over well, let's leave it at that. But I don't think that's at all what you're talking about. If he brought home a coworker who proceeded to wear muddy boots through the house, you can bet your ass I wouldn't sit there waiting for Gralson to do something about it.
Giggle-no-he has all sorts of venting to do about work. That's not my business except to patiently listen.
I meant if I had an issue.
He does work for a small company-his boss is married to a lady I grew up with and Maca does consider him a friend.
The prior boss-did actually call me periodically about things such as wanting to send Maca out of town for work-because the company is run on the basis of family first. So they try to work with the families in so much as possible.
At that point, the conversation isn't "you need to control your girlfriend," it's "your girlfriend needs to get the fuck out of my life." Since you mention keeping them at a distance, it sounds like you crossed that line before it was drawn.
Other than being able to support our partner in the same place when he wants us to, I see no reason for me to foster a friendship with a metamour. If we happen to meet and really get along well, there is no reason for us not to be friends, but it isn't something that I need.
I shouldn't need to speak up about a metamour mistreating me, my partner should already be making sure that doesn't happen.
it is up to an individual to ensure one relationship does not negatively impact on others