Relationship Configurations

And I've changed my mind, my ideal configuration would be like SCs.

It was fun explaining it to my mom at Yule last year. Throw in that someone in that chain is my former supervisor, that someone else is trans, and that two of their kids were fathered and are being co-parented by a gay drag queen who was also there that evening... I think we broke her brain a little bit.

Normal is boring.
 
For example, the mono/poly thread was someone monogamous wondering if her being monogamous means that she couldn't be in a poly relationship.
Which was exactly my point. You'll need to be clearer about your objection because I don't understand what you're trying to say.
 
There often seems to be a tendency for people new to poly—and sometimes old-timers as well—to see a particular relationship shape as The One True Way To Be Poly™. Thisthen leads to communication problems when they assume that everyone else uses the same definitions that they do.

What I said is based on this part of the OP. I see how those threads are relevant to the next paragraph.
 
AFAIK, my girlfriend's husband's boyfriend's wife doesn't have another partner, but I don't keep tabs.

This is SUCH a great line. Thanks for making my morning.

Some cultures have very rich vocabularies for familial relationships, e.g. the brother of your mother has a different title than the brother of your father or the husband of your mother's sister, etc. It would be interesting to live in a culture that had something similar for poly relationships.

Other cultures are ridiculously nebulous, and everyone outside of your spouse is an in-law. It makes for powerful word usage, because it's so flexible. In large families, you can just toss out the word and keep going, nobody blinks. They either know who the hell you're talking about or have no clue, and if they have no clue, well, it's an in-law, someone in the family.

I think metamour does a good job of that, just in an extended way. That whole tangle? Maybe they're all each other's metamours...
 
I don't know how to make a pretty one, but here is our current config:

picture.php


(The little grey dashed fans that come from VVs and TTs circle indicate that they may/do have other partners but I "don't keep tabs.")

Just for shits and giggles (and cause I'm a little OCD :p) I made a "complicated" version that shows the various degrees of NON-sexual friendships in our group (blue lines) as well as gender and cohabitation configs (red boxes):

picture.php


It amuses me to note that, while MrS looks to be rather isolated on the sexual/romantic version (as he only has ME), he is actually the most "embedded" in the friendship tangle.
 
Last edited:
That's pretty cool Jane.

Mine (which I'm not going to try to draw) would end up that way too. GG would look isolated, except he's the one with the deepest ties in a friend/familial way to EVERYONE. lol Whereas Maca dates others and there's always someone in line (which I don't keep track of) but he's generally not really social and he doesn't "get in deep" with people very often at all.
 
Oh my god, Jane, that's awesome. Love it.
 
We look like a water molecule.
 
Ideally my preferred structure would look like an N. A closed N although I wouldn't have an issue if the 2 ends of that N wanted to expand the grouping.
 
I am offended that I have to be green :p... stop pigeon holing me into a colour :p

Never heard the phrase tangle, always called is a constellation. :).. learn something new every day.

Mine isn't up there.. I am not poly.. woot.. :D... My shape would be a quad, missing one line.. and one line could likely be a dash.. haha..

Seriously though, I think someone was designing a program that could do this. Creating an app that you could input your relationships and it would build a diagram. It would be crowd created so everyone would do this. And, if you have ever seen l-word, you would end up with a relationship picture of everyone you are mutually involved with. Wonder where that ended up?..
 
Never heard the phrase tangle, always called is a constellation. :).. learn something new every day.

Seriously? I actually learned the phrase "poly tangle" from this forum! AutumnalTone used to use it, I recall. I think it's a brilliant way to describe certain poly situations.
 
I think I picked it up here too. It's easier to spell than constellation.

Edit: For Ariakas -
picture.php
Delete lines as appropriate.
 
Last edited:
Seriously? I actually learned the phrase "poly tangle" from this forum! AutumnalTone used to use it, I recall. I think it's a brilliant way to describe certain poly situations.

Ya just one of those things. I saw constellation and it made a lot of sense. I have likely transposed the word since.

Constellation I think came from RP. I remember hearing/reading it from the victoria crowd. And it worked. there was so much overlap and interconnecting groups at that time. It looks like the milky way when drawn haha
 
\/

Water molecule.

Hetero MFM poly-fi V (or Vee). Two male platonic friends who each share a romantic/sexual bond with one lady.

We're boring.

---

Brother-Husband (M) = end/arm #1

Hinge Lady (F) = hinge/pivot​

Kevin = (M) end/arm #2

---

Subject to possible expansion in the future (but I don't think anyone's looking). We're all primary partners.

We do live together (though each guy has his own bedroom) and have a cat and a dog. No kids.

But wait! Is this true poly? I'll have to think about that ... ;)

Re: constellation/tangle ... does intimate network also work?

Re (from Natja):
"Can we have just one blinkin thread about configurations that is not centred around bloody Unicorns and their hunters?"

Heh. :D

Nah nah nah nah [not listening]

Re (from opalescent):
"Plus I can throw in Monty Python references ..."

We demand: a shruggery! ... a nice one with a walkway and a little picket fence and pretty flowers in the middle. And not too expensive.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top