Ok, first off... apologies to BoringGuy for resurrecting this thread. I just need to rant a little...
So after yet another breakup, we slowly grew back into talking, back into hanging out, back into cuddling... then got into a big fight last week. The short version is, at some point she actually came up with "no verbal communication" as an idea. We agreed to it, had some more fighting... didn't talk to each other for the weekend.
Now, how do you guys think this week has gone?
Monday: She asks if we can talk about mortgage stuff, I say ok since it's important. Turns out that it was simple stuff she could have emailed me about as we'd agreed. I'm annoyed so I go out, she calls me to ask where I'm going, make a sarcastic comment about my social life, and tell me she loves me and then get me to say it back.
Tuesday: Trying to be out of the house I went to a Toastmaster's club meeting. Get home, she's here and starts chatting with me about the club. I'm annoyed and it shows, so she gets upset about me "giving her dirty looks." (I didn't, I was actually avoiding looking at her.) I remind her we agreed to no verbal communication, she goes upstairs. She finds an excuse to call me 20 minutes later, and we end up getting into a fight. I go to bed, an hour later she comes downstairs and walks into my bedroom and just says she's sorry then climbs into bed with me and we cuddle for a bit and talk about the fight we had last week a little.
Wednesday: I invite some friends out through Facebook. I come home, and of course she's in my apartment despite having given her a good 20 minute warning I was on my way. I'm a little tipsy so I just grab another beer and sit down. Then, of course, she starts telling me I hurt her feelings because I invited out a couple of our mutual friends. This turns into a little bit of an argument, but not too bad... but anyway why the hell did it even happen?
Well, actually I suspect I do know why it happened. I think she just wanted some reason to keep talking to me so she picked a fight.
So yeah, all the advice was to get away and get space... but short of moving out I can't seem to actually get away from her. Even then I'm sure there would be phone calls.
OK... done ranting I guess.
As an aside... err... kinda, anyway. Somewhere between the breakups she wanted to talk about what my dreams were. It's one of the few civil discussions we've had, and I explained that basically I'd like to have something like a "mistress." She asked me if it was just about sex, and I told her no that I just never dated and kind of want some of those experiences I would have had.
Her reply is basically that she's upset about not being "enough" for me. She's brought it up a couple times since, as well... but it leaves me wondering if "just sex" would have been a more acceptable answer for her somehow.
What's that? Are those straws? Sure, I'll try to grasp them!
So after yet another breakup, we slowly grew back into talking, back into hanging out, back into cuddling... then got into a big fight last week. The short version is, at some point she actually came up with "no verbal communication" as an idea. We agreed to it, had some more fighting... didn't talk to each other for the weekend.
Now, how do you guys think this week has gone?
Monday: She asks if we can talk about mortgage stuff, I say ok since it's important. Turns out that it was simple stuff she could have emailed me about as we'd agreed. I'm annoyed so I go out, she calls me to ask where I'm going, make a sarcastic comment about my social life, and tell me she loves me and then get me to say it back.
Tuesday: Trying to be out of the house I went to a Toastmaster's club meeting. Get home, she's here and starts chatting with me about the club. I'm annoyed and it shows, so she gets upset about me "giving her dirty looks." (I didn't, I was actually avoiding looking at her.) I remind her we agreed to no verbal communication, she goes upstairs. She finds an excuse to call me 20 minutes later, and we end up getting into a fight. I go to bed, an hour later she comes downstairs and walks into my bedroom and just says she's sorry then climbs into bed with me and we cuddle for a bit and talk about the fight we had last week a little.
Wednesday: I invite some friends out through Facebook. I come home, and of course she's in my apartment despite having given her a good 20 minute warning I was on my way. I'm a little tipsy so I just grab another beer and sit down. Then, of course, she starts telling me I hurt her feelings because I invited out a couple of our mutual friends. This turns into a little bit of an argument, but not too bad... but anyway why the hell did it even happen?
Well, actually I suspect I do know why it happened. I think she just wanted some reason to keep talking to me so she picked a fight.
So yeah, all the advice was to get away and get space... but short of moving out I can't seem to actually get away from her. Even then I'm sure there would be phone calls.
OK... done ranting I guess.
As an aside... err... kinda, anyway. Somewhere between the breakups she wanted to talk about what my dreams were. It's one of the few civil discussions we've had, and I explained that basically I'd like to have something like a "mistress." She asked me if it was just about sex, and I told her no that I just never dated and kind of want some of those experiences I would have had.
Her reply is basically that she's upset about not being "enough" for me. She's brought it up a couple times since, as well... but it leaves me wondering if "just sex" would have been a more acceptable answer for her somehow.
What's that? Are those straws? Sure, I'll try to grasp them!