I have spent the last 15 min trying to decide if I even want to join this community or not. Obviously I have chosen to do so, but I'm still unsure as to how I need (for me) to go about putting out there what I need to share... I am generally very uncomfortable with posting on blog sites, not sure why, I just am. And I tend to be a fairly private person... but, sometimes you need to do whatever must be done, and use whatever avenues are out there... sooo...
I was in a poly relationship whit a woman that I dearly love. She has her partner and I was pursuing someone as well. It all kind of went into the crapper when various things started to happen... mostly my fault. I have never really been in a poly relationship before and I don't think that I really understood all of the rules and complications involved, to be honest I still don't. However I did A LOT of stupid things that led up to the worst... I LIED about what had been done, right up to the point where I was busted two days later. Now, rightly so, she can't trust me. I want to fix this and re-gain her trust, but seem unable to. I've tried everything I know how, but nothing seems to work. And I never learned the "skill" of "butt kissing." I have never been able to do it, at all, for any reason. She (sadly) has broken up with me. But I want her back, in whatever way I can get her. I do love her and I am seeking professional help to get things fixed in my head, but I am at a loss for what to do next... Is there anything that can be done? Can I fix this? And how do I do it?
Please I am asking for any help that any of you are willing to give. I just don't know what to do. I feel like i'm losing my mind...
I was in a poly relationship whit a woman that I dearly love. She has her partner and I was pursuing someone as well. It all kind of went into the crapper when various things started to happen... mostly my fault. I have never really been in a poly relationship before and I don't think that I really understood all of the rules and complications involved, to be honest I still don't. However I did A LOT of stupid things that led up to the worst... I LIED about what had been done, right up to the point where I was busted two days later. Now, rightly so, she can't trust me. I want to fix this and re-gain her trust, but seem unable to. I've tried everything I know how, but nothing seems to work. And I never learned the "skill" of "butt kissing." I have never been able to do it, at all, for any reason. She (sadly) has broken up with me. But I want her back, in whatever way I can get her. I do love her and I am seeking professional help to get things fixed in my head, but I am at a loss for what to do next... Is there anything that can be done? Can I fix this? And how do I do it?
Please I am asking for any help that any of you are willing to give. I just don't know what to do. I feel like i'm losing my mind...