Sorry, just getting in on this conversation. I was adopted....When I was about 3 1/2. I was litteraly stolen form my mother at 3 years old. She was working as a gogo dancer, and left me with the babysitter to go to work. The sitter decided to go out to the bar to get drunk, and dropped me off at the police station telling them that "some lady just dropped him off with me".
Well, my mother came home to no sitter, and no baby. She went to the police immediatly and asked if they had a blond haired, blue eyes baby boy. They said they did, but could not return him as he was abandoned.
Well, my mom fought and tried to get me back, but she knew she needed lots of money and imbezzeled about $10000 from a businessman in Columbus, ohio. She got caught, and put in prison for a year.
During this prison time, she tried to get me placed with my grandmother, but the judge said that my grandmother was too old. The SAME DAY and in the SAME COURTROOM, he placed me into the custody of my adoptive parents...... Who felt that if they threw enough money at something, they could fix it's problems and issues.
30 years later, I found my biological mother again and re-connected with her. I actually moved from Washington state to Florida to be closer to her. And now, I don't talk to my adoptive parents at all. (for other reasons not mentioned here)
SO....My opinion is this; IF you adopt, please please PLEASE keep it an open adoption. If the child ever figures out they were adopted (and they will. Kids are crafty) they will wonder WHY they were put up for adoption, and WHO their biological parents were. It will hurt both YOU, and THE CHILD to keep it closed.
p.s. Oh, and also...Please adopt a child who is LOCAL, and not one of these kids from China or Ethiopia, or somewhere else. We have PLEANTY of kids LOCALLY who need the help just as much. Help our own, so we can eventually help others and save the world.
Oh yeah, and food for thought here: Nature vs. Nurture - My biological father was very mechanically inclined. I never knew him or even anything about him until I was 33 years old. My adopted father was a surgeon, and my adopted mother was a nurse. I never got into the medical field, and have always been very mechanically inclined. In fact, I'm currently working as a mechanic.