Bisexual, Pansexual, Polysexual...is it all semantics?

These questions are mainly for the hetero- folks in the forum.

Would you be as likely to "date" a bisexual (or biamorous) person of the opposite sex as a hetero- person of the opposite sex?

Why? Why not?

I idenitfy as straight. According to a 2002 CDC survey, 2.8% of women identify as bi-. After a rough count off the top of my head, something like a third of the women I've been involved with have identified as either bi- or lesbian. It seems pretty clear statistically that I am vastly more likely to date someone who is bi-.

As for why, I couldn't say with any confidence. I suspect that there are two things going on. One is that I tend to date people who are, well, awesome people. Someone who goes through the process of coming out in the society I've lived in has already done an enormous amount of personal growth and has taken a a courageous stand against homophobia. That level of self-knowledge and courage is very attractive! The other thing is that people who have already had to leave the mainstream by being bi- are more likely to wind up exploring other non-mainstream social circles, such as by also being poly-, Pagan, into kink, a Burner, etc. so I'm more likely to meet them.
 
I'll be the first hetero-female to chime in one this one.

I'm honestly not sure. To the best of my knowledge, I do not know any bi- men in RL. I may still suffer from a little bit of stereotyping, but if I was to form a relationship with a bi-man then I think that these would disappear rather quickly.

I don't think I would have a problem if he was open and honest about it and didn't hide it.

As for statistically, well, like I mentioned I don't actually know any bi-men off the top of my head so unless my friends circle grows in that direction, I'd be more likely to date hetero.

A last minute add on... If I were to date a bi-man, then he would have to be respectful of the fact that my hubby is completely hetero (not to the point of phobic though).
 
he would have to be respectful of the fact that my hubby is completely hetero

uh...what?
 
I pretty much run around the streets all day, pinching random male and female butts and winking. ;)
 
I didn't mean to poke fun. I think it's a bit crass to assume things like that, but I was actually just confused by the statement. I read the whole thread and gained more understanding of the context she was writing in. In any case, myths clear up easy once you experience whatever "it" is in real life. I know this well being a whatever-sexual, intelligent black man.
 
These questions are mainly for the hetero- folks in the forum.

(You may also chime in if you are gay or bi, if you like, but I'm mainly interested in what the hetero- folks have to say on this matter.)

Would you be as likely to "date" a bisexual (or biamorous) person of the opposite sex as a hetero- person of the opposite sex?

Why? Why not?


===

[biamory is a term coined to distinguish bisexuals who aren't interested in same-sex "-amory" (loving relationships) from those who are. Many bisexuals are not actually biamorous. Some are only interested in same sex encounters if they involve only recreational ("casual") sex.

Don't know. I suppose, if generally they had the same interests, if I was attracted to them in every other way.
Mind, I'm not poly at all, I'm just interested with the concept, that's why I've joined.

I'd actually find it a bit intriguing, I suppose...but then I'm odd that way...
 
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Rpcrazy, don't you know that all bi- people are attracted to every single person that they meet and that they have no innate sense of when making a pass is inappropriate? I thought everyone knew that.

I have to disagree - Im bi and Im not attracted to everone I meet. Im still picky, I still look for certain characteristics in a partner, and I still am more attracted to women than men; maybe because I have been with more women than men, but that doesnt mean that Im not open to having fun with a guy, cuz I am. But I am certainly not attracted to eveyone I meet - for me personally there is a greater number of people that I meet that I am NOT attracted to than people I am attracted to, regardless of them being male or female.

As for the original question: The sexuality of the people I date doest really matter, as long as their sexuality includes me Im happy ;)
 
JKelly said: Rpcrazy, don't you know that all bi- people are attracted to every single person that they meet and that they have no innate sense of when making a pass is inappropriate? I thought everyone knew that.

Oh, ouch!

Ok, so maybe that did come across poorly, but it is more just pointing out that we don't have a lot of experience socializing with the LGBT community in person and that he (hubby) might be a little more squeamish than me if I were to date a bi-man. I definitely did not mean to imply that bi people go around drooling over anything on two legs. :p

DD123 said: I have to disagree - Im bi and Im not attracted to everone I meet. Im still picky, I still look for certain characteristics in a partner, and I still am more attracted to women than men; maybe because I have been with more women than men, but that doesnt mean that Im not open to having fun with a guy, cuz I am. But I am certainly not attracted to eveyone I meet - for me personally there is a greater number of people that I meet that I am NOT attracted to than people I am attracted to, regardless of them being male or female.

Actually jkelly is kinda joking here. Poking fun at my comment from earlier.
 
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While I identify as bisexual, I tend to lean towards men, if nothing else because they're easier to meet.

I didn't always identify as bisexual, mostly due to not really giving it much though, I just "was". Before I started thinking about it, I had a few bisexual boyfriends. It was AWESOME!

Like Ariakas said, I find bisexual people to be more open-minded in general. I'm going to stereotype now, and I want a disclaimer that I'm not saying this applies to all heteros, bis, or gays. I've found a lot of heteros to be stuck in their Barbie & Ken lifestyle. They think it's fine for "those people" to do what they're going to do, but they want no part of it. A lot of gays seem to be anti-bi, possibly due to some experiences with bi-curious people using them to test the waters, without a real intention for it to go anywhere.

In order to identify as bisexual, you have to have given it some thought. Anything that forces you to think that hard about life tends to open some mental barriers, and that's never a bad thing.
 
Like Ariakas said, I find bisexual people to be more open-minded in general. I'm going to stereotype now, and I want a disclaimer that I'm not saying this applies to all heteros, bis, or gays. I've found a lot of heteros to be stuck in their Barbie & Ken lifestyle. They think it's fine for "those people" to do what they're going to do, but they want no part of it. A lot of gays seem to be anti-bi, possibly due to some experiences with bi-curious people using them to test the waters, without a real intention for it to go anywhere.

I would agree with this. Most have a pre-disposed viewpoint on what being a married couple is. Heck even throw kink in there. They just want the prescriped house, picket fence, 2 cars, happy kids - all 2.5 of them. If they have that, that is their perfection...

And Pengrah has run into the above backlash. We come from a very lesbian community. When I was younger I think the ratio was 7 to 1 girls to guys. In a town with a lot of bi-sexual women, there was still backlash, almost violent, to the bi-sexuals. There was even an anti-toy movement, the lesbians claiming "if you like toys, you like boys"...I would not have envied her in those days.

Its quite a lot to work with and think about :)
 
I definitely agree that bisexual people are more open minded. I have a student who is gay and he does not even believe in bisexuality, not to mention not even knowing the word pansexual (which made him roll his eyes).

But back to the question...I am hetero but not poly. So hypothetically if I was single, I would be less likely to date a bisexual woman. Naturally, I would seek out a mono partner so this wouldn't be an issue though. If she was wired mono, she wouldn't be interested in others and I'm not into the two women one guy thing anyways.

I don't think I qualify for this question:eek:
 
I don't think I qualify for this question:eek:

Sure you do!

The world has a fair share of people who are both bi- and mono. And a fair share who are both bi- and poly. Not all bi- folk are poly!

As I see it, I evolved or transformed into poly from mono. (And when I say "evolved" I'm not meaning to suggest that poly is better than mono-.) So I've been a bi mono guy. Yet I'm old enough at this point to have lived these two very different modes of being. I don't think I was a poly guy hidden inside a mono mindset (heartset?) then. I really did transform. Who knows how or why, but I did.
 
I'm a more or less straight female; I've had one sexual experience with another woman and have never been in a relationship with one. It's not something I'm closed to the possibility of in the future, but also not something I'm concerned with actively pursuing. My boyfriend is bi, and that's just fine with me. His only other relationship while we've been together was with another guy. I'm not a real big fan of the traditional gender binary, though, and I've always been attracted to androgynous men (which of course isn't necessarily attached to sexual orientation, but often is).
 
coming out as bisexual

Ok, I know that this isn't poly, but it is related so I thought I would post to get other's opinions. I have been into both male and female since high school, but during high school it was an awkward stage and very confusing time. Now as an adult I am learning to accept my sexuality and feel that I need to become a part of that community. I am out to alot of my friends, but not out to my family, I don't feel they will be supportive or understand. So many ppl don't really think that we exist, especially the LGBQT commmunity, most think we are in a "phase". I really want to come out to everyone. Should I do that knowing their won't be support there? How do I go about doing it? How do I explain the whole bisexuality not a phase subject...
 
Why not just wait until you're in a relationship that matters to you that is with a member of the same gender. If you want to introduce them to your family it will become fairly obvious that you're not straight.
 
I am currently in a Triad relationship with a married couple. So I have both a girlfriend and boyfriend, but she isn't out. I am out to most of my friends. The reason I feel I really want to get out there is because I am tired of hiding who I am. this is a part of that and I really want to embrace it but I feel hiding it doesn't allow me to do it to my fullest extent...
 
I am currently in a Triad relationship with a married couple. So I have both a girlfriend and boyfriend, but she isn't out. I am out to most of my friends. The reason I feel I really want to get out there is because I am tired of hiding who I am. this is a part of that and I really want to embrace it but I feel hiding it doesn't allow me to do it to my fullest extent...

Will coming out have an effect on her being outted?
 
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