For me, an ideal relationship is not a certain number, combination, set, or type of people, genders, orientations, rules, structures, or connections. Instead, it's defined by how the people involved treat each other. It's above all an emotional environment where everyone feels safe. It's communication without competition, listening without retort, honesty without ruthlessness. It's warmth, support, and laughter. Indeed it's many of the things that I often fail to provide myself. An ideal relationship is something I'll always strive for, though like the speed of light I'll only approach it; not in a million years will I ever arrive.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And have standards for the compassionate treatment that you, too, should receive. These are the keys I concentrate on when I try to help build a loving poly household with my two human (and our other two) companions.