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Old 12-26-2009, 05:57 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,732

I used to talk all the time about my sex life to everyone. I couldn't see why anyone should object so I would ramble on excitedly about everything until one day I over heard a conversation that I wasn't meant to hear between two people. They were talking about me and saying things that made me realize that I was annoying them and that I could use some respect of their boundaries and perhaps my own. Of course they didn't say it so kindly.

I was upset by this and decided not to give details unless asked or in a situation where my thoughts could be in context of the conversation. This has proved to be far more in keeping with what most people seem to be able to deal with.

As far as my loves go I have the same policy. It works for us. I don't see it as an insecurity as much as respect that they are not thinking about sex right now or they are not ready to hear details, or it's not all that interested, or we don't have time to get into it etc. When any of them want to know then they can ask, or if I feel they need to know some information then I will tell them. I have no problem giving as much detail as someone wants including my feelings and what I think the whole feeling felt like, but that would entirely depend on how many questions I get and what the focus of the topic is about.

Sometimes I miss talking as freely as I once did as I think that on all levels that kind of openness would disspell a lot of misconceptions. Of course I would also have to be willing to hear everything people have to say... such as the conversation I over heard that made me aware that I was bugging people.

Ah well, it's all a balance that is worked out in the moment and in time and comfort level.
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