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Old 10-19-2012, 04:19 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,428

I do not think any "Closed" relationship model is coercive. Be it monoships or polyships. Basically everyone is going "Ok, full now to capacity. Cannot take more on board. Let's leave it here. "

The people invited to be in them? They can say "No, thanks. I do not want to commit to you in a closed model. I am not full -- I'd like to keep my options open."

I tend to assume people enter closed models because they want to be there and that's all they want to handle at this time. What's coercive about that?

Person A can seek whatever shape rship they want. Doesn't mean anyone HAS to sign up. Person B can go "Nah. I just like dating ya. Thanks!" Person C could say the same!

They also maintain sexual autonomy. Person A and Person B who are married choose to share sex when they want to share it together for mutual pleasure. Person A cannot go foist themselves on unwilling person B -- married to them or not! Person B cannot foist themselves on A. That would be marriage bed rape. It would be the same in a polyfidelitous configuration that is closed. You can't go foisting yourself on others. Ew.

If the contract no longer satisfies all they have to do is break up if they want to break up or negotiate to go from "closed" to "open" if that is what they want. Cheating has to do with dishonesty and unwillingness to be held accountable -- not the shape of the relationship the cheating happened in.

OP -- how are you doing? Are you feeling any better?


Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-19-2012 at 04:58 AM.
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