Polyamory Survey - Participants Needed!

unigurl

New member
Thank you for taking the time to complete the following survey which is towards my thesis research for my Bachelor of Arts degree, major Sociology, at Algoma University. The focus of the study will be centered on how long-term couples, married or common-law, in a sexually open committed relationships (i.e., they have open, honest, sexual, loving relationships with others in addition to their spouse or other committed partner) negotiate and view commitment, jealousy and trust. Do note that this questionnaire is designed to be completely anonymous; your personal answers will be disclosed to noone. Please try to answer every question as best as you can.
If a word or phrase could have more than one meaning, please interpret it
according to your own usage.

If you have any further questions, comments or concerns about your participation in this study you may contact myself, Tracy Mack, at [email protected] or [email protected] or my thesis supervisor Professor Harvey Briggs, my supervisor for this project. You may reach Mr. Briggs at 949-2301 ext. 4310 or by e-mail [email protected].
Thank
you, and have fun.

Click here to take survey
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I have a problem with some of the questions.

3. There are only two options. I feel there should at least be an "other" box
4. Why is "self" included? How can you not live with yourself?
6. What if you love many people and you love only one of them a bit less? Not that I can personally count, but are you supposed to say you had "a" favourite, when you loved 3 out of 4 people and had less of a connection with the fourth, or something? It seems poorly phrase (on top of being a pretty dick question to ask. It's like asking children if they have a favourite parents or parents if they have a favourite child)
8. My relationship is polyamorous with a single partner currently. What do a say, polyamorous with a primary partner? I don't do the primary/secondary hierarchy thing, I feel that's not really accurate of an answer. And it's not monogamous either since we're both poly. (And what is "open monogamous" even supposed to mean? Isn't that an oxymoron?)
16. I'm not sure how to answer these. I mean, if we use condoms until we're tested, do I check both? It's not the same as having to be tested and still using condoms afterwards, which some people do. And is approving of other partners really safer sex? If your partners approves of your other partners and you don't use any protection, you might still all get STDs...

I stopped writing my comments about there. Question 29 is the same as question 7 again, some questions that are on two lines have 2 checkboxes instead of one, lots of questions about favourites, lots of questions I'm not sure how to answer or that don't apply to me (what do you say when something is fine, but isn't happening right now?) Not too fond of this questionnaire, I have to say. I wish there were boxes to comment on each question, or somewhere at the end for the whole thing. Some of the questions are interesting, but some of them feel like I'm being asked "which of your kids do you enjoy beating up the most?" when I don't have kids, nor would I beat up any of them if I did. In other words, I'm not sure how to answer some questions at all.
 
Reply to Tonberry

Thank you for taking the time to make me aware about the problems with my survey.....I'm very sorry that you found it awkward in places. I'm doing research in this area as it really intrigues me but it is a learning process for me as well, I hope to grasp a better understanding of how people who live a polyamorous lifestyle negotiate jealousy and commitment. I wish I could change the survey you have mentioned above but I cannot change it presently as I will lose the data I have collected so far. I do sincerely apologize that it was not constructed in a better manner, I worked very hard on it and had a couple friends who live a polyamorous lifestyle take it before posting it for others.....

But I do want to thank you for taking the time to do the survey and to let me know what was lacking in it and I apologize that it did not allow you to answer some of the questions in the manner you would have liked to

Sincerely,

Tracy
 
I just wanted to point out what came to mind, as I thought it could be useful. I completely understand that you don't want to lose the data collected so far, and that I might simply not be the right target for the survey.

Anyways, I wanted to give some feedback. I hope you get useful data.
 
I went and took a look at the survey. It is less than optimally written, I hate to tell you.

From the beginning:
5. Have you loved more than one partner at the same time? Yes or No
6. Did you love them equally or was one a favorite? Equally or Favorite

Now, obviously Question #6 can only be answered if Question #5 is answered "Yes." So why is Question #5 even there? Or maybe it's Question #6 that shouldn't be there, depending on what you want to find out.

Also... #18 asks if there is an agreement for a partner to spend nights alone with a lover. You say if the answer is "No" then not to answer the next question about how often the partner does this. YET ~ there may not be a literal agreement, but that does not mean a partner doesn't spend nights with someone else. Furthermore, what if the amount of time spent with someone else is not predetermined, and just kind of happens when it can? So, weekly, monthly, or every six months could all apply. Finally, these questions all seem only to pertain to partners that live together. To a solo poly person, or someone in a LTR, those questions do not entirely make sense.

The survey is rather skewed toward sex habits of partners who live together. It also doesn't really seem to be about polyamorous relationships, per se, as much as it is simply about non-monogamous sex. But I am sure this whole process will teach you a great deal -- probably mostly the fact that answers about polyamory don't easily fit into a survey!

Good luck!
 
Yes, I am finding that, even within the literature, categories are extremely fluid as most literature from the 1970s and 1980s define polyamory as a typology of swinging.......even though the term 'polyamory' was coined in the 1970s......and thank you for your feedback, it is very helpful!
 
Tracy, I very much wanted to complete your questionaire but I felt it didn't apply to me at all...as I am mono but my wife is the polyamorous one. So my answers would be be that my relationship is completely monogamous, which would make no sense and skew your results up.
I feel this is a major failing on your survey, as mono/poly marriages/relationships seem to be quite a big percentage of the relationships on here, and mono partners are likely to be the ones (arguably) who suffer the most from jealousy issues, yet also we have to be adaptable and creative in dealing with them.
Good luck anyway with your thesis and your course.

Actually I looked at the survey again and there is an empty box at the top . I presume that is for additional information? Maybe you would like me to put brief details in there that would put my answers in context?
 
Last edited:
Oh wow! I never thought of couples where one was monogamous and one was polyamorous.....how you deal with jealousy issues would be of great value to my research, so please feel free to use the empty box at the top of the survey! and thank you!
 
Couples ???

Yes, where in a couple one was monogamous and one was polyamorous.....

I was teasing you about that choice of words because a couple is TWO. If one of them is poly, there are MORE THAN TWO in the relationship. Any people involved beyond two should not automatically be considered "extra" to a couple. There are so many dynamics possible. It seems that you're still thinking very monogamously!
 
We would usually talk about intimate network for the whole relationship (with all the people involved, no matter the size) and then different terms for different sides.

Or you could phrase it from the point of view of a single person ("I never thought of a mono being in a relationship with a poly" or "I never thought of a poly being in a relationship with one or more mono(s)")

It's true that I too did a double take when I read "couple". It is basing it on the idea that these two people are the "real" relationship, and that other people would be extra or additional. Even if these two dated before adding other people to the relationship, there is no saying people in the relationship see it that way (a couple plus others) rather than seeing the relationship as a whole. And the mono partner might be a partner who joined the relationship later, too, and then excluding other, more established partners might make even less sense (why are these two the "couple" when their relationship is three months old and others are twenty years old?).

But we're teasing you, really. Just trying to give you a different perspective here :)
 
Oh wow! I never thought of couples where one was monogamous and one was polyamorous.....how you deal with jealousy issues would be of great value to my research, so please feel free to use the empty box at the top of the survey! and thank you!

OK will do. ;)
 
I took the survey and despite the fact that I have a primary partner (as your survey rather assumes), I also had some issues making my situation "fit." For instance, I left a whole section blank because although my partner and I do have an agreement in our newly poly arrangement about eventually phasing in sleepovers, it simply has not happened yet, and so I can't speak with the authority of experience about how it makes me feel.

Also, I think "favorite" is a word that grates many poly people. It's like trying to get me to use a spectrum that only goes from black to white instead of the whole rainbow of ways I can feel about people. And just because I have chosen to have a life partnership with one particular partner does not mean that all in all I love him more than other people.

Anyway, I hope you find what you set out to discover. It would be really difficult to design a perfect survey that could account for all the variance in poly relationships, so I for my part can hardly blame you for the blind spots in your study.

Will you update in this thread when you finish it?

--------

carnalporridge.blogspot.com
 
Last edited:
Also, I think "favorite" is a word that grates many poly people. It's like trying to get me to use a spectrum that only goes from black to white instead of the whole rainbow of ways I can feel about people.

That's a great analogy! Yes, it sounds a bit like someone asking you about a rainbow "which colour is the most black?"
 
I took the survey.

Definitely think that it would be more functional if it didn't assume that a couple was "primary" and that all other partners are secondary.
While it does ask the question if you have two primary relationships, all of the other questions are specific to only ONE of your relationships.

Also, it asks if there's an agreement with your partner about overnights-which I have with one partner but not the other.
But then it asks all about how I deal with his overnights.
Well, he hasn't had any. I have but he hasn't-circumstantial. It does not ask how we deal with my overnights....

Hope that helps.

:)
 
Back
Top