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Old 11-21-2013, 12:58 AM
Vicarious Vicarious is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Posts: 42

Originally Posted by bofish View Post
I have had those feelings of not caring if my husband slept with men, but feeling jealous if he slept with women. For me, it was about learning that each relationship in my life was individual and could not be replicated. This is something I have to tell myself all the time? Do you feel that her connections with women can't replace you? But worry that a man can?

Do you have to fall in love with all the women you have sex with? Can you accept that your feelings may be strongest for your wife but you can have other relationships too?

My husband and I both have sexual issues. There came a time when we could not solve these together and opening up to others helped us begin to know ourselves sexually. Maybe something like this can happen with your wife?
Yes, I feel that her intimate connections with women can be unique and complementary to us. But that is not the feeling I get when we discuss her sexually exploring with men.

I feel like I need some emotional connection with a woman to feel passion and express vunerablities. And yes, they are the strongest I have felt before with my wife. I recognize that I probably could have a lesser intensity of love for another woman intellictually, but am just not feeling like I want to. I've been on OKCupid for a few months, and I have no interest in anyone...I love my wife and my family with her. It's the sexual intimacy and touch that I am lacking with her, that seems improve when I have a lover in addition. My wife likes that I go out and pleasure another woman, and in turn her libido comes back. But now, she wants to explore(this was already known but it is more real now as she is chatting with local men and possibly going on coffee dates). So, this exploration of me taking a lover has helped her out, and brought us closer. But I am just not feeling like it is what I really want.

I guess I could say that her having a relationship with another woman (I'm good with that) or us together exploring dating or meeting other couples would be me embracing some sort of poly lifestyle?
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