Hey Mags, thanks so much for the reply and the insight... For the most part you're pretty right-on.
As for everything going on, my job is inconsistent at best - I'll work one week and not the next, then maybe a day or two the week after. I spend the vast majority of my time in SD with my family. We've also moved into the new house (next door to my folks', a pretty lucky deal), and gotten pretty well settled in here. We're even gardening, growing tomatoes, corn, etc.
I know we've got a little background in swinging, but honestly not THAT much. She's only had two men other than me, and I've only had four other women, not including L. ...in 13 years. I always felt like something was lacking with that though - there have been times where I had opportunity to have sex with someone, and I wanted to, but couldn't perform. This is an unusual thing for me, as I mentioned in one of the other threads, and it seems to follow emotional turmoil. Whenever I don't feel right about something, or when I'm just really upset about something, it just doesn't work. The emotional attachment to a partner is DEFINITELY a new ballgame and the primary source of the issues here. G is having a hard time seeing the difference between herself and L, what separates them for me, etc. I'm trying to really focus my efforts on showing her that she's my primary and that's not going to change, but it can get hard when life intervenes and keeps me busy. For example, we just got back from this family trip, but now I'd like to go see L - what can I do before I leave to make G feel good? How can I help her with this, beyond calling things off with L and breaking my own heart?
G DEFINITELY feels like she's "left at home while I'm off galavanting". I keep trying to get her out on her own to have some fun, but it's hard! She mostly works and wants to stay home with us, or garden. We're taking a trip to Vegas soon for a friend's wedding, and she's getting excited about that... hopefully she'll get her groove back soon - sex between us has been fantastic since we moved into the new house, but I think she's nervous about going out and exploring/meeting people, etc. by herself, and rightly so. I don't particularly enjoy that either. I'm still trying to convince her to get an OKC membership, but she's just not sure she wants to see anyone else, and I'm really not going to push her on the matter - it's best that she come to it in her own time, when she's ready for it. Maybe we need to go to a poly meetup in SD or something and try to make some friends. I grew up here, but nearly all my old friends have moved away, and it's always good to make new ones.
As for the work L does - she's been modeling for years, mostly car shows, some calendar and poster work, but always clothed, nothing really naughty. This is the first time she's ever been drugged, and it happened twice in a week, from the same guy. The police are already after him, and we really hope they catch the SOB. Most of the people in this circle are good people who look out for her, and I'm fine with her doing this. It doesn't seem particularly risky to me, one can incur a stalker in nearly any line of work. I'm not a fetish photographer, I work in a completely different part of the entertainment business, and it has nothing to do with anything sordid, hence my reluctance to mention it specifically here. I don't make Republican propaganda videos or anything, but what I do is a small world, and I'd like to keep my personal and professional lives separate. As for me being a "bad boy", in some ways I am, but for the most part, I'm a poppa-bear. Sure, I'm burly and covered in tattoos, used to ride a motorcycle and box, but I'm a lover whose primary instincts are to support and protect those in my life. I'm also a dude though, and enjoy the attention of the ladyfolk.
Ego boost...? Definitely. It feels good, but I have to remind myself often that this is probably not going to last, to enjoy it while I can, and that I have priorities.
I can't say enough times how helpful this site has been, the ability to really talk freely about things free from judgement by all you sexy and empowered people... Just wanted to say thank you.
-SS