redpepper
Active member
I really think we kinda grok about the whole total disclosure thing.
we kinda "grok?" sorry, I don't get it
I really think we kinda grok about the whole total disclosure thing.
we kinda "grok?" sorry, I don't get it
Beatbox, I would add to my list your 2 and 5 and a variation of your 3. Thanks for those reminders.
I would agree entirely on knowing who my husband is involved with. That way we can talk about them and his situation.
I have a thing about knowing who is touching him. It makes me feel closer to them somehow so why would I not want to know who I feel closer to. Does that make sense?
You can play the lead character Mono.
It does feel strange beatbox... I think women have it a lot more easy. They just kind of announce that they are free and men come to them. I feel bad for all you men on the dating scene. Especially Poly dating!!! geesh, hard work. Still, try and enjoy it. You sound like you are! Remember you are not alone and have your wife to talk to and muse about the whole thing with... she could give you some points on what she think would work and what your strong points are that should be brought forward. This seemed to help my husband. I thought he was the cutest thing ever when he was dating a lot. My problem was not following behind him to yell at his date that they better treat him right or I would be after them! I am so protective over my men
we kinda "grok?" sorry, I don't get it
I always aired on the side of telling them right away. I always figure that someone will know they are interested in me in the first few moments of meeting and therefore they should also know the deal in those first few moments too.
I can't remember what I said to Mono, maybe he remembers, but I find it impossible not to talk about my husband and son as they are a huge part of my life. So I get it out of the way and then act like it's nothing unusual and totally normal, which it is to me anyways... acting like I am just me is the best I can do... often there are a lot of questions and I answer them in complete honesty and without taking on their judgment or jealousy, just stay humble.... "yup, I get to fuck three lovely men and thoroughly have my cake and eat it too lucky me."
I have the type of personality and character though that people seem to just accept and respect my openness and honesty. I am never shy, cautious or have any hesitation in telling people details about myself. Especially sexual details and fine print! I find it invigorating and a challenge... I think it is written all over my face in a cheeky self confident way
Grok
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
To grok (pronounced /ˈɡrɒk/) is to share the same semiosphere or line of thinking with another physical or conceptual entity. Author Robert A. Heinlein coined the term in his best-selling 1961 book Stranger in a Strange Land. In Heinlein's view, grokking is the intermingling of intelligence that necessarily affects both the observer and the observed.
From the novel:Grok means to understand so thoroughly that the observer becomes a part of the observed—to merge, blend, intermarry, lose identity in group experience. It means almost everything that we mean by religion, philosophy, and science—and it means as little to us (because of our Earthly assumptions) as color means to a blind man.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines grok as "to understand intuitively or by empathy; to establish rapport with" and "to empathize or communicate sympathetically (with); also, to experience enjoyment."
Well, my wife thinks I should be up front with everyone I date right off the bat. And I agree from an ethical point of view. However, from a probability POV I think I should give it some time. Let them get to know me. Decide whether or not I am someone they like, then tell them.
Two schools of thought, and the 3rd option.....don't tell them....which is neither practical nor ethical. Disaster would soon follow. I prefer to keep things civil.
And pepper, I appreciate you acknowledging this about the males having their work cut out for them. It may get rough and maybe even lonely.
Perhaps this girl will call me, maybe not. She didn't last night, but it was not unexpected seeing as how I had no "IN".
I always aired on the side of telling them right away. I always figure that someone will know they are interested in me in the first few moments of meeting and therefore they should also know the deal in those first few moments too.
I can't remember what I said to Mono, maybe he remembers, but I find it impossible not to talk about my husband and son as they are a huge part of my life. So I get it out of the way and then act like it's nothing unusual and totally normal, which it is to me anyways... acting like I am just me is the best I can do... often there are a lot of questions and I answer them in complete honesty and without taking on their judgment or jealousy, just stay humble.... "yup, I get to fuck three lovely men and thoroughly have my cake and eat it too lucky me."
I have the type of personality and character though that people seem to just accept and respect my openness and honesty. I am never shy, cautious or have any hesitation in telling people details about myself. Especially sexual details and fine print! I find it invigorating and a challenge... I think it is written all over my face in a cheeky self confident way
Let me just take this moment to thank everyone for being so understanding and accepting about this. I appreciate all of the comments and I feel much better with you guys being a support group.
Honestly, I have always wanted more than one partner/lover/emotional friend, but I think I was just conditioned to think that it would never happen for me. Making it feel normal is probably one of the best things that has ever happened for me.....again thank you for your warm welcome. I will be a regular here, for sure.
if at possible, you will find it considerably easier to start by dating a polygirl rather than approaching someone who will very likely not be cool with you being married.
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