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Old 11-23-2013, 07:35 PM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

I think that rebounding is when a person tries to replace a lost relationship with another that remotely resembles it, or looks like it could. It looks like it will fill the gap.

I don't think this is a "mono problem" although a poly person has the benefit of having at least some of their needs met by existing partners. Assuming they have existing partners. An easy example of this would be sex. A monogamous person breaks up and they usually go from some sex to no sex. A poly person will go from quite a bit of sex to some sex.

Supposing a poly person had a vanilla spouse and a kinky girlfriend and then broke up with the kinky girlfriend, they might rebound with the next kinky girl they meet. That rebound relationship is exactly the same as a monogamous rebound would be except for the fact any extreme negative consequences of rebound relationships could affect that other relationship. One consequence I can pick off the top of ky head would be jumping into a rebound relationship with a crazy cowgirl because the "rebound" aspect of the relationship has compromised your character judgement.

Saying that, I always have my OKC profile active, right? So if and when I did break up, I was still habitually using the site. Does that mean anyone I spoke to after my break up was a potential "rebound"? No, I think. Simply because as happy as I was in that relationship with that person, I was and am still looking for something different to that. I think a rebound relationship has to have elements that the rebounder feels fills the gap of the lost relationship. Even if it's just sex.
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