Multi-partner co-habitation

This was an issue in our house briefly because Adrian is LOUD. Her "keeping it down" is most peoples loud, and hr loud is - well, most of ou neighborhood knows when she's getting some, lol.

But now it's the other way - the other two don't give a rats tail when I' with Adrian - Violet even thinks of it as foreplay 'cuz she knows the more I get the ore I want - but Adrian freaks out if she hears either of them; especially when she hears the whips cracking, lol. For some reason she's extremely upset by the BDSM side of things lately.

I don't think that I'm ready to hear any of them with another guy, but thus far that's a non-issue with Violet and Lana, and Adrian's "play dates" as I call them are a his hotel room (he lives out of state and comes to Vegas on business every couple of months).
 
While we don't live together, I think this story is relevant to the current conversation.

My boyfriend, T-Rex, spends Tuesday and Saturday nights with me while my husband, Thumper, is at work. Sunday mornings, when Thumper comes home, we fire up the airbed in the living room so we can have breakfast, watch movies, play video games, chat, listen to audio books, and have playful sex. These mornings often last until five or six at night. My daughter stays at my mom's on Sundays.

This past Sunday, over the course of such a 'morning', Thumper was sitting on the edge of the airbed looking up something on his laptop (which was set up on a TV tray next to the airbed) pertinent to a conversation he and T-Rex were having. Meanwhile, T-Rex and I had been casually fooling around under the covers.

So, T-Rex rolls over and is about to mount me (yay!) and Thumper starts talking about whatever it was he was looking up. He glances over, sees T-Rex poised for action, and says something like, "Oh, sorry. I'll wait."

T-Rex cheerfully says, "No no, go ahead, finish your thought," while continuing to... well, you know... initiate docking procedures.

Meanwhile, I start giggling. I have no clue what the topic was because my brain goes mushy at such times.

So Thumper says whatever he was going to say and T-Rex (who has achieved full penetration at this point) answers him thoughtfully. I think there may have been a brief conversational exchange at this point, but my memory is fuzzy there. Then T-Rex turns his full attention to me and we have a lovely bit of sex.

Mind you, T-Rex and I had plenty of intense one on one time the night before, so I didn't feel at all ignored or anything. I think I already had sex with Thumper that morning, probably with both of them, possibly at the same time, but Sunday mornings are lazy and fuzzy and warm, and we don't keep track or score or anything. They all kind of blur together in my memory.

Anyhow, T-Rex and I finish and take a moment for a cuddle. Thumper, who has been on the computer the whole time and was sitting on the airbed right next to us, laughs and says, "You know, it's really hard to use a mouse while you guys are doing that." He then pantomimes the effect all the bouncing had on his mousing skills.

I thought that was pretty funny, and T-Rex has a rich, booming laugh that is pleasant to feel resonating through his chest when I'm cuddled up against him.

It was awfully nice. I love the sense of camaraderie that has developed between them.

This makes me think that we possibly could all live together someday, though I'm not making any plans at this point. It's too soon and there's no real need for it. But at least the sex wouldn't be a problem.

I guess my point is that the sex doesn't have to be a problem, but it's something the metamours need to work out between them. I've been with T-Rex for about 8 months now, and this has developed slowly over time. We used to keep it separate and T-Rex would leave when Thumper came home (though that didn't last long), then we all started just hanging out together Sunday mornings, then it progressed to cuddling while hanging out, then light fondling under the covers entered the picture, and now it's this friendly and affectionate experience that is super warm and fuzzy.

It helps that we were all good friends before I became intimate with T-Rex.
 
That's really nice, Penny. I think the gist of that post would have its place is Poly Successes :)
 
Maybe below the cockles. Maybe in the sub cockle area... Maybe in the kidneys, maybe in the liver... Maybe EVEN in the colon... We don't know.



Sorry - had too... :p
 
That's fucking great Penny. Wowza. Sounds very joyful and I am truly happy for you and your loves to have come to such an intimate place between the three of you. It makes me happy just to know that such a thing could exist.

I would say "lucky you", but we all know this has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with all of you doing the work to create the life that you desire.

-R
 
That's lovely penny :) I understand where you are at and it reminds me of times I have had... before Mono moved in and we were in our NRE and had NRE with PN as well as he was part of that, things were close to your situation... now its not so much about the sex together and more about eating together or watching a movie together. Meh, typical relationship stuff after NRE ends and ORE sets in :p

I'm so glad we waited until this honey moon phase ended before talking about moving Mono in. We were telling someone last night that once we had been over EVERYTHING five millions times, from what to do if it ends to what kind of money arrangements we would have, there was nothing left to do but try it... and then we waited more... by the time he moved in there was a sense of "thank GOD! It's finally happening" not because we were desperate to be together all the time, but more because we were all sick of waiting to see if more would come up and because we were exhausted by talking about it all the time!!!
 
That's lovely penny :) I understand where you are at and it reminds me of times I have had... before Mono moved in and we were in our NRE and had NRE with PN as well as he was part of that, things were close to your situation... now its not so much about the sex together and more about eating together or watching a movie together. Meh, typical relationship stuff after NRE ends and ORE sets in :p

Meh. I hate that term, ORE, old relationship energy. I prefer ERI, established relationship intimacy.

I dont think you need to presume 3way sex between Penny and her 2 guys will end in the next year or two. Sounds to me like both her guys love spending those long Sundays together with her, whereas your husband PN and Mono are both more introverted. And you seem far too active to spend whole days in the sack with the same 2 people every Sunday!
 
Wendigo and Pretty Lady lost their house last summer - they live in the country, on her family's land. So when their house became uninhabitable, they moved into her sister's house on the property.

Many times we've offered for them to come and live with us. It would have been a tight fit, but doable. Ultimately, they decided that now isn't the time and would be detrimental to our kids - their son is in high school and doing ROTC in a different school district and they didn't want to take him away from the only friend's he's ever had (or his first girlfriend) and our son has been in 3 schools in the last 5 years, so we didn't want to uproot him again.

Still, some of my favorite times have been when Wendigo and I are cuddling on the sofa teasing each other, while he and Wolf talk about whatever topic they get onto. I would love to have that every night.
 
Meh. I hate that term, ORE, old relationship energy. I prefer ERI, established relationship intimacy.

I dont think you need to presume 3way sex between Penny and her 2 guys will end in the next year or two. Sounds to me like both her guys love spending those long Sundays together with her, whereas your husband PN and Mono are both more introverted. And you seem far too active to spend whole days in the sack with the same 2 people every Sunday!
I like that ERI or even ERE established relationship energy... much more preferred.

I had no presumption at all. I was telling my story. And actually I do spend most saturday or sunday mornings in bed with one or all my men... LB included. We did that this morning, watching documentaries and eating cereal.

I am a long time "bed person" as we call it in this house. Little do you all know but I write most of my stuff on here, IN BED. I stay so long in there that LB leaves (gets bored after he has had a tickle fight and some cuddles and chats) and I get the lovin' ;) It's just not as much about two men together any more. Or right now anyway. We do most of our heavy talking in bed between sex and eating and sleeping and cuddling and goofing around. PN is not so much into staying in bed these days. He is a morning person and Mono and I more night people. It all ebs and flows and it all comes around at some point for us.

Penny, fill your boots. I totally get you. ;)
 
Meh. I hate that term, ORE, old relationship energy. I prefer ERI, established relationship intimacy.

I like it! It's true that "old" often sounds derogatory, and I can see how in an established relation, it's more about intimacy (or complicity), and in a new one about that boost of energy. I'm all for using ERI instead or ORE.
 
I like ERE. I think it's much more descriptive. While I still have NRE with T-Rex, I can see where we're easing into Established Relationship Energy. I wouldn't say ORE. And while ORE describes my relationship with Thumper, ERE does it better.

Can we get that in the definitions?

We're all lay-a-beds here. Way in the way back, Thumper and I courted in bed, watching SciFi channel, cuddling, and having sex. T-Rex and I spend our date time primarily in bed. Love bed. Bed good.

But I fear I have derailed the thread. My on-topic point was that sex in close proximity doesn't have to be distressing for the metamour who is not involved, but that's really dependent on the individual metamours.

I have no useful advice or anything. If Thumper were, like, out in the kitchen doing dishes or something, I could see how he might get resentful at being left out. And alone time between partners is vitally important, IMO. At least, that's how it feels in our V. Though if we were to live together, Thumper's schedule (working overnights) would work well for me and T-Rex. T-Rex likes to go out late on Fridays, so that would help me and Thumper.

If your only option for alone time, though, is to leave someone out while they are still in the house, in close proximity, then I can see how that would be problematic.
 
The only thing I don't like about the term ERI is that it doesn't indicate a sense of longetivity. For some a relationship can be established in one night of sex...of course it may only last that long LOL :rolleyes:
 
The only thing I don't like about the term ERI is that it doesn't indicate a sense of longetivity. For some a relationship can be established in one night of sex...of course it may only last that long LOL :rolleyes:

Well, I think of something established as something that you can't do over-night... Among the definitions online I found "established - settled securely and unconditionally" and I think that fits very well.
I think to be secured, a relationship needs some time in most cases... And if a relationship becomes established earlier, I would still count it as ERI.
After all it's about the kind of relationship and not the time. There isn't a magic amount of time when you shift from one to the other... Even NRE can keep lasting for a while even though the relationship isn't "new" anymore...
 
Well, I think of something established as something that you can't do over-night... Among the definitions online I found "established - settled securely and unconditionally" and I think that fits very well.
I think to be secured, a relationship needs some time in most cases... And if a relationship becomes established earlier, I would still count it as ERI.
After all it's about the kind of relationship and not the time.
Good point. ERI is apt imho.
 
Well, I think of something established as something that you can't do over-night... Among the definitions online I found "established - settled securely and unconditionally" and I think that fits very well.
I think to be secured, a relationship needs some time in most cases... And if a relationship becomes established earlier, I would still count it as ERI.
After all it's about the kind of relationship and not the time. There isn't a magic amount of time when you shift from one to the other... Even NRE can keep lasting for a while even though the relationship isn't "new" anymore...

And of course, NRE can last longer for one partner that the other. That happened with my gf and me. I think hers only lasted 3 mos and mine lasted pretty much for 2 years. Now, I feel good because we are on the same page.

My NRE shows itself as wanting to throw her on the bed as soon as I walk thru the door after a few days apart. Her moods made that stop... she likes to reconnect by cuddling and talking only and not do sex til we've been together a few hours, maybe have dinner, and she feels relaxed. Now, I finally feel more patient with her desire for that.
 
My gf moved in a little soon, and it was stressful. Then she moved out and now I can see that it would be nice for her to live with us, if only our house were big enough. I think it works best if you go slow.
 
This morning I woke up early and headed out to turn the compost piles and collect all the new soil for gardening. I didn't feel like I was doing it for anyone in particular but that I was doing it for the household. I felt like I used to when I had a house of my own with a yard to maintain. It was about taking responsibility for the environment I am in. This is a step forward for me....a breakdown in my thinking of being a "tenant" and more like being just another family member in the house.

As I was finishing PN stopped by to chat before heading of to visit his family. Redpepper was tucked away in bed recovering from a super social weekend.

Half a year in and things just seem to be getting better and better :)
 
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