Thread: Abuse
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Old 03-04-2010, 07:56 PM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
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Redsirenn, do you have a link to this article? A large part of the problem I am seeing in this discussion is that we are discussing OUR ideas of abuse but there is not mention of what the AUTHOR defines as abuse. Is she talking about specific kinds or degrees of abuse lead one to poly or abuse in general?

Personally I know there are three different types; Physical, Sexual, and Emotional. Of course these can be seen in varying degrees by different people, cultures, religions, and even generations. There really are many different ways of defining abuse.

Again, personally, I have never been what would be considered physically abused. The single time I recall being spanked was when my dad said that if I didn't do something he would spank me. I of course replied "I'm too old to be spanked." I'm sure you can see where that one led to. I know I have been emotionally abused, whether intentionally or not, but I think that most people can say that, whether it was indirect; guilt trips by the parents to get you to do things; or direct; telling you that you are no good or ugly. As for sexual abuse, that depends on how you look at it honestly. Some people would consider my first time as date rape and others would not. I'm still not sure how I would define it other than I was giving him mixed messages as to what I wanted, basically saying both yes and no, and he went with yes.

But I would be interested to see how the author does define abuse and what kinds she feels contribute to the poly lifestyle.
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