Jealousy, Monogamy, Travel, and Foreign?~

ColorsWolf

New member
I really apologize if this question has been specifically asked before, but I did not seem to have found any thing on this forum about this subject in this specific form.~

I am new to this whole 'dating' thing and I will soon be starting a life full of joyful chaotic nomadic traveling where I will be going to many different countries, experiencing many different cultures, meeting many different people, seeing many wonderful new things, and so much more!~

I am a United States of America Navy Sailor and I have yet to begin basic training.~ My life for the next 8 years will be rather interesting to say the least.~ I will be an Airman E-3 and/or a Seaman E-3 in rate after I graduate from basic training. A rate is something that not only includes how much you get paid in money, but also how many responsibilities you have as well.

My chosen MOS or Military Occupation Specialty that's another way of saying "job" will be Aerographer's Mate or AG for short.~ An Aerographer's Mate is an expert trained in meteorology and oceanography, in smaller words I study the sky, the weather, the ocean, and how they all relate together.~ I've always found watching the clouds and ocean to be interesting, now I get to study them yay!~ ^_^

As a Navy man, I will most likely be working on a ship or more and that could take me any where on this planet.~

My question really isn't a general question about jealousy or monogamy, but more of a question that has to do specifically with traveling and foreign people.~


As some one who is of the mindset where I do not want to get married, I do not drink alcohol, I do not smoke anything and I find smoking in general nauseating, I do not accept the concept of "pets" only livestock and other such creatures, I do not like the idea of living in one place for long periods of time,

I do hope to raise children one day but not right now or within the next 10 years nor do I mind if it never happens, and as someone who has almost an entirely alien way of seeing love:

how different are foreign people,

I hear that many countries outside the United States still live somewhat in a 'older age' is this true and do many still cling to their old 'traditionalist' values without willingness to change,

would they see me and my way of seeing things as strange idiotic or even crazy,

is it hard to find someone who is of an open-mind especially among foreigners,

what countries where would I most likely find more 'open-minded' people,

are there many people in this world who are of the 'nomad' mindset or at least open to it or do most people want to settle down and even if they say they don't do they 'eventually want to settle down' as they may change but I might not,

is jealousy a HUGE problem especially with foreign people of a different culture because I have heard some horror stories,

or my worst fear would foreign people misunderstand me or worse use me to mean that I am nothing more than some one who is looking for a 'fling' or nothing similar to love?~
 
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So there are Americans and "foreign people", all of whom feel, think, and act identically? How astonishingly insular.

Edit: As someone who has spent the last 16 years working for an organisation similar to the one you're about to join but with a different flag, I think you're getting ahead of yourself if you think you'll be developing any form of long-lasting relationship with people you meet while travelling the world with 200+ of your nearest and dearest. Generally you'll find that you're in foreign ports for only a few days at a time, and very rarely will you visit the same place twice. The chance of striking up anything beyond the most casual of relationships with a local is pretty much nil.
 
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So there are Americans and "foreign people", all of whom feel, think, and act identically? How astonishingly insular.

Edit: As someone who has spent the last 16 years working for an organisation similar to the one you're about to join but with a different flag, I think you're getting ahead of yourself if you think you'll be developing any form of long-lasting relationship with people you meet while travelling the world with 200+ of your nearest and dearest. Generally you'll find that you're in foreign ports for only a few days at a time, and very rarely will you visit the same place twice. The chance of striking up anything beyond the most casual of relationships with a local is pretty much nil.

Mmmk, that answers almost none of my questions what so ever, but thanks for the input!~ ^_^

Apparently either you think or you think that I think that all Americans and foreigners are similar, if it is the latter and not the former then you made these assumptions entirely on your own.~ I am actually indicting the opposite of insular since I am expressing interest in learning about other kinds of people and cultures not of my own.~ That is why I ask these questions.~ So I have no idea how you jumped to such conclusions.~

Although you did make it a point to include an "edit:" part in your post, so I suppose you caught yourself in this and are trying to apologize in a round-about way.~ In which case, yes I accept your apology!~ ^_^

Although if you meant the "ignorant" part of the definition of "insular", then you are correct I am rather very ignorant of such things, but again that is why I am asking these questions.~ ^_^
 
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Apparently either you think or you think that I think that all Americans and foreigners are similar, if it is the latter and not the former then you made these assumptions entirely on your own.~ I am actually indicting the opposite of insular since I am expressing interest in learning about other kinds of people and cultures not of my own.~ That is why I ask these questions.~ So I have no idea how you jumped to such conclusions.~
You have expressed no interest in learning about "other cultures". You have lumped everyone outside the borders of your home country into one backwards traditionalist blob and asked to learn about that blob. That blob is a product entirely of your own imagination, it has no culture to learn about. If you had asked about a particular country or a particular area then you might not have sounded so utterly insulting toward everywhere outside the US.

Although you did make it a point to include an "edit:" part in your post, so I suppose you caught yourself in this and are trying to apologize in a round-about way.~ In which case, yes I accept your apology!
No. In my edit I was offering 16 years of naval experience to tell you why you will likely find yourself disappointed if you expect to build lasting relationships with people you meet while deployed. Any apology you read into it was not intended.
 
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You have expressed no interest in learning about "other cultures". You have lumped everyone outside the borders of your home country into one backwards traditionalist blob and asked to learn about that blob. That blob is a product entirely of your own imagination, it has no culture to learn about. If you had asked about a particular country or a particular area then you might not have sounded so utterly insulting toward everywhere outside the US.

No. In my edit I was offering 16 years of naval experience to tell you why you will likely find yourself disappointed if you expect to build lasting relationships with people you meet while deployed. Any apology you read into it was not intended.

My questions were more in general about what is it like outside the United States or on this planet in general, it was never meant to be a specific series of questions with expected specific answers.~

I am only asking what each and every person who has had experience in this sort of general area of questions' subjects experiences were and any advice they could give to a novice to sea travel such as myself.

You have done this and I am grateful: thank you for the advice, it was very insightful!~ ^_^

I never meant to make it appear as if I was lumping all foreign people together as I tried to distinguish my questions accordingly, I meant SOME people from SOME countries that I have no idea the origin of.~ ^_^

But ultimately no matter what I intended my series of questions to mean, I can not change your interpretation of them nor your continued interpretation of them, that is some thing from you.~ ^_^
 
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Are there many people in this world who are of the 'nomad' mindset or at least open to it or do most people want to 'settle down' and even if they say they don't do they 'eventually want to settle down' as they may change but I might not?

I guess in a nutshell, this is one of my greatest questions: do most people want to 'settle down' or 'eventually want to'? Are there no more swashbuckeling adventurers left in this world who never want to settle down?~ :D
 
Are there many people in this world who are of the 'nomad' mindset or at least open to it or do most people want to 'settle down' and even if they say they don't do they 'eventually want to settle down' as they may change but I might not?

I guess in a nutshell, this is one of my greatest questions: do most people want to 'settle down' or 'eventually want to'? Are there no more swashbuckeling adventurers left in this world who never want to settle down?~ :D

Without taking a census it's impossible to answer the question. Perhaps if you're asking at a personal 'you' level it makes more sense.

My thought: There's more than one kind of adventurer in the world these days. Technology has made mental adventurers of many, and has reinforced the isolation of others (who probably wouldn't have left the village in ancient times anyway). Many people don't allow their minds to exit their own sphere of visual awareness(and are quite content), others spend their days dreaming of different places, cultures, and identities. And perhaps a few just want to experience some of the awe and majesty of feeling alive by throwing caution to the wind and roaming each and every day. Those people, usually lacking resources, are probably not online to answer your post.

Settling down is a necessity if a society is to continue. Without people doing that, roads to roam on wouldn't exist. :)
 
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Do you know how many people live on this planet? And you want us to summarize what you might run into? We don't know where you're heading. And your asking if "foreigners," people outside the US, are as old-fashioned and backward as you've heard... this mindset is why we get called "ugly Americans." Sheesh, have you ever even read a history book, learned about other cultures, read a periodical that was published in a country other than your own (such as The Economist), listened to BBC radio, or opened up your mind a little? If not, you should start!

You have said you have little to no experience in relationships, and it seems you've led a sheltered life. I think you should focus on your basic training, your job in the Navy, and staying alive. Let the maturity that will come from that guide you in relationships in the future.
 
Do you know how many people live on this planet? And you want us to summarize what you might run into? We don't know where you're heading. And your asking if "foreigners," people outside the US, are as old-fashioned and backward as you've heard... this mindset is why we get called "ugly Americans." Sheesh, have you ever even read a history book, learned about other cultures, read a periodical that was published in a country other than your own (such as The Economist), listened to BBC radio, or opened up your mind a little? If not, you should start!

You have said you have little to no experience in relationships, and it seems you've led a sheltered life. I think you should focus on your basic training, your job in the Navy, and staying alive. Let the maturity that will come from that guide you in relationships in the future.

Thank you for this wonderful advice, you to monkeystyle!~ ^_^

You are all right, I am like a new born, yes I have read, and heard, and watched all kinds of educational programs concerning everything outside the United States, but I have rarely ever been outside my own houses over the years and I've never stepped foot outside of the U.S.A.~

Perhaps the words you all speak are very wise, worrying and thinking too much over these questions and asking for answers in places where they are not found is not going to help me much.~ You are all RIGHT, the best way to learn about some thing is to EXPERIENCE IT and I will do just that!~ ^_^

Thank you!~ Thank you all for all such wise words of wisdom!~ ^_^
 
Where ever you go on this planet - there will be ignorant, scared, narrow-minded people.

Where ever you go on this planet - there will be wise, brave, open-minded people.

Where ever you go on this planet, there will be people who are a little bit of all these things - depending on their stage in life, things they've just experienced, etc.

Go out and explore and see for yourself!

(And stop thinking of people from other countries as 'foreign'.)
 
You must be excited about getting to travel. :D

I think you will have more experience of different cultures than you think. The US is a massive country with very different cultures within it.

I live in Scotland - a tiny country and it has massive differences in culture in it. Glasgow and Edinburgh are a 45 minute train ride apart and could not be more different places to be. The Western Isles in Scotland have their own cultural norms as well.

There are different norms as well depending on age, social class etc etc etc.

And then within each group are people who don't fit in with the norms.

If I were you, I would get to know people as individuals. Find out about them and their attitudes toward life, love, sex and friendship and see if they match up to your own. :)
 
You must be excited about getting to travel. :D

I think you will have more experience of different cultures than you think. The US is a massive country with very different cultures within it.

I live in Scotland - a tiny country and it has massive differences in culture in it. Glasgow and Edinburgh are a 45 minute train ride apart and could not be more different places to be. The Western Isles in Scotland have their own cultural norms as well.

There are different norms as well depending on age, social class etc etc etc.

And then within each group are people who don't fit in with the norms.

If I were you, I would get to know people as individuals. Find out about them and their attitudes toward life, love, sex and friendship and see if they match up to your own. :)

You're absolutely right, I'm more of person who sees people as individuals, but I guess ignorance and stereotyping can sneak up on any one!~
Thank you!~ :)

I very much liked your information on the Scottish people, perhaps instead of having this thread as about people outside the U.S.A. in general it would be nice if we could use this thread to learn more about all kinds of people from every where!~

If any one has any experiences or knowledge they could teach us about any one from any culture or any experiences or any thing they've learned, that would be great!~ :D

Not to use this information as to learn about ALL people of one country or another, but just to learn maybe a little bit maybe some thing about some culture or some specific people like Bob or Joe.~ We could all, but especially I, could benefit from any knowledge any one has to share!~ Learning is so much fun after all, well at least for me it is!~ ^_^
 
. . . it would be nice if we could use this thread to learn more about all kinds of people from every where!~

If any one has any experiences or knowledge they could teach us about any one from any culture or any experiences or any thing they've learned, that would be great!

If you want to start a thread like that, then it would probably be better off in the Fireplace forum, since that would not be poly-related.
 
If you want to start a thread like that, then it would probably be better off in the Fireplace forum, since that would not be poly-related.

Actually this is sort of poly related as it is one of the many subjects that could very well be apart of either an individual's way of life or actually deeply rooted in a culture itself: such as Harems.~ :)

Although from my understanding, the subject of Harems can get very complicated and confusing at least for me.~ All I truly know is that it involves more than 1 woman and usually 1 man.~
 
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Although from my understanding, the subject of Harems can get very complicated and confusing at least for me.~ All I truly know is that it involves more than 1 woman and usually 1 man.~

And it is still not Polyamory and therefore, as already stated, doesn't belong in this section.
 
And it is still not Polyamory and therefore, as already stated, doesn't belong in this section.

It actually depends on the kind of relationships they have set-up, it could be by choice or not be by choice, I guess you're right if it is NOT be choice then it is not polyamory as it is more like slavery.~

But some cultures embrace such concepts even if they ARE by choice, such as 10 women falling in love with the same man and the man can not choose, it is possible.~

But I suppose Harems would be too complicated as a subject. There are plenty of kinds of polyamory in different cultures when it's done by choice, so I stand by what I said, this thread does still have some connection to polyamory.~

But the subjects discussed here would probably be too broad for most people to pick through to find some thing about ployamory. Since polyamory is not the main subject of this thread any more, I will create another thread re-made to be about learning about different people and cultures.~

Toodles!~ ^_^

ColorsWolf
 
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It actually depends on the kind of relationships they have set-up, it could be by choice

Than that would not be a harem, which is, by definition a place of restriction, from the Arabic word connected to 'haram' which means forbidden. As in this property is forbidden to other men.

Since Muslim Polygyny, from which Harems derive are strictly religiously mandated, it isn't possible for it to be polyamorous even if the women choose to live that way.

In other words...again...this is the wrong section.
 
Than that would not be a harem, which is, by definition a place of restriction, from the Arabic word connected to 'haram' which means forbidden. As in this property is forbidden to other men.

Since Muslim Polygyny, from which Harems derive are strictly religiously mandated, it isn't possible for it to be polyamorous even if the women choose to live that way.

In other words...again...this is the wrong section.

Great point!~ ^_^ Thanks for helping me learn some more!~ :) I did not know that!~ :D

Although I still think polyamory could be found in many cultures although probably with a different name or no name at all as the concept of loving more than 1 person is nothing new really, I am still creating a separate thread for the reasons I listed above.~ ^_^
 
Great point!~ ^_^ Thanks for helping me learn some more!~ :) I did not know that!~ :D

Although I still think polyamory could be found in many cultures although probably with a different name or no name at all as the concept of loving more than 1 person is nothing new really, I am still creating a separate thread for the reasons I listed above.~ ^_^

I have argued a similar argument to one your are positioning yourself around. The problem is, polyarmory is at times connected to a lot of relationship structuring and relationship ethics around the name. When in reality it just means love more than one.

Polygamy while not always ethical can be polyamorous.
Even a harem could be, if there is more than one person loved.

Ethics are an interesting line. Quite a bit of it is based on history and location. So your premise I believe is correct, although some of your other phrasing makes it difficult to agree with you.

*shrugs*... its kind of like debating religion with someone of faith.. its just sometimes not worth it.
 
I have argued a similar argument to one your are positioning yourself around. The problem is, polyarmory is at times connected to a lot of relationship structuring and relationship ethics around the name. When in reality it just means love more than one.

Polygamy while not always ethical can be polyamorous.
Even a harem could be, if there is more than one person loved.

Ethics are an interesting line. Quite a bit of it is based on history and location. So your premise I believe is correct, although some of your other phrasing makes it difficult to agree with you.

*shrugs*... its kind of like debating religion with someone of faith.. its just sometimes not worth it.

My general point is what you just said: polyamory is just loving more than 1 person.~

I'm glad you agree with me!~ ^_^

Your input was very much appreciated!~ :D
 
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