redpepper
Active member
Thanks for your words, NYCindie.
Yes, he said that before this year. He said that this year, even. However, he has also encouraged me to pursue my relationship with Brad from the get-go, saying he understands now due to his having fallen in love with another himself. He gets it and doesn't want to stop me from what my heart's nature is, as he thinks his might be similar and he wants to explore that. I'm confused about it all, for sure.
The thing is, he doesn't want to communicate about it and hasn't been. It seems he thinks he shouldn't have to. He wants it to be his own thing and for me to never know whom he is involved with or ever meet them. He shouldn't have to let me in on his feelings at all. We differ in this way. I talk about everything.
I am concerned that when he goes out on his own without me knowing, that he is actually going to move his love away from me and I will just be family to him, his home base, where he belongs, yet not someone with whom he is passionately in love, anymore.
I realize that love changes and mellows with years, but we have always been very close and passionate. For me that has not changed. For him it did, when he had feelings for others. I am concerned that a divide such as the one he is asking for will mean a split, rather than achieve what he wants. This leads me to believe we are actually done. I'm waiting for some input from him.
I wanted and enjoyed his monogamous nature. I grew to trust it eventually, but now I don't trust anything. To his credit, he managed to say something before getting into his thoughts so much that I lost him forever.
I am wondering now if he actually thought he couldn't ask for me to not pursue others. I would not have started anything with Brad, had I known what was going on for Mono back then. I met Brad before I knew Mono had a crush. I was encouraged to go out and meet people, to go and find a distraction. I didn't expect to find another bf. I didn't see anything except his encouragement and friendliness to Brad. He liked him. He was happy for me. On the surface, he seemed to be okay with everything.
He was having trouble being close to me. He told me that it was just his retirement worries that made him distant. I knew nothing of anything else until he told me in June. (Mono's love for his friend started in January when I was dumped by Leo, and Mono needed some fun.) He told me that it was likely just a one-shot deal with her. He said I should carry on with Brad, as he was a good guy and he liked him and wanted him around.
Yes, he said that before this year. He said that this year, even. However, he has also encouraged me to pursue my relationship with Brad from the get-go, saying he understands now due to his having fallen in love with another himself. He gets it and doesn't want to stop me from what my heart's nature is, as he thinks his might be similar and he wants to explore that. I'm confused about it all, for sure.
The thing is, he doesn't want to communicate about it and hasn't been. It seems he thinks he shouldn't have to. He wants it to be his own thing and for me to never know whom he is involved with or ever meet them. He shouldn't have to let me in on his feelings at all. We differ in this way. I talk about everything.
I am concerned that when he goes out on his own without me knowing, that he is actually going to move his love away from me and I will just be family to him, his home base, where he belongs, yet not someone with whom he is passionately in love, anymore.
I realize that love changes and mellows with years, but we have always been very close and passionate. For me that has not changed. For him it did, when he had feelings for others. I am concerned that a divide such as the one he is asking for will mean a split, rather than achieve what he wants. This leads me to believe we are actually done. I'm waiting for some input from him.
I wanted and enjoyed his monogamous nature. I grew to trust it eventually, but now I don't trust anything. To his credit, he managed to say something before getting into his thoughts so much that I lost him forever.
I am wondering now if he actually thought he couldn't ask for me to not pursue others. I would not have started anything with Brad, had I known what was going on for Mono back then. I met Brad before I knew Mono had a crush. I was encouraged to go out and meet people, to go and find a distraction. I didn't expect to find another bf. I didn't see anything except his encouragement and friendliness to Brad. He liked him. He was happy for me. On the surface, he seemed to be okay with everything.
He was having trouble being close to me. He told me that it was just his retirement worries that made him distant. I knew nothing of anything else until he told me in June. (Mono's love for his friend started in January when I was dumped by Leo, and Mono needed some fun.) He told me that it was likely just a one-shot deal with her. He said I should carry on with Brad, as he was a good guy and he liked him and wanted him around.
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