vetmanager13
New member
I'm trying to figure out whether I truly am poly or just being selfish. I have been friends with a guy for over 10 years, and through out all this time we've never been together but we both get jealous when the other is in a relationship. We usually just keep quiet because as long as the other is happy, than we're happy. Almost two years ago I met an amazing man and we recently got married.
I have loved my friend for almost the whole time we've known each other, but timing was just never there and prior to getting married we both had a "come to Jesus talk" where we put all our cards on the table. He admitted that he's loved me just as long as I've loved him, and I admitted I love him. He's been living approximately three hours from me, so we've just been long distance friends. We've been talking almost every day, and we continue to live our separate lives but I brought up the concept of being poly.
My husband knew something was on my mind for approximately a week, and I just broke down and told him the full truth. I love/am in love with him and my friend, but when asked whom I loved more I told him that wasn't a possible question for me to answer. For me it is as if I have two separate hearts to which they each have completely. After reading some posts on here (thank you for them all), and talking about where our lines would possibly be he is open to the possibility. I have also talked to my friend about it, and he is also open to the possibility.
All the three of us wants is for each to be happy, and we don't want ruin relationships that are already in place. Prior to all the talk becoming action I need some advice from people that are poly, and know the lifestyle. Am I just being selfish by "wanting my cake & eating it too" or does there seem to be the possibility of a poly lifestyle.
I have loved my friend for almost the whole time we've known each other, but timing was just never there and prior to getting married we both had a "come to Jesus talk" where we put all our cards on the table. He admitted that he's loved me just as long as I've loved him, and I admitted I love him. He's been living approximately three hours from me, so we've just been long distance friends. We've been talking almost every day, and we continue to live our separate lives but I brought up the concept of being poly.
My husband knew something was on my mind for approximately a week, and I just broke down and told him the full truth. I love/am in love with him and my friend, but when asked whom I loved more I told him that wasn't a possible question for me to answer. For me it is as if I have two separate hearts to which they each have completely. After reading some posts on here (thank you for them all), and talking about where our lines would possibly be he is open to the possibility. I have also talked to my friend about it, and he is also open to the possibility.
All the three of us wants is for each to be happy, and we don't want ruin relationships that are already in place. Prior to all the talk becoming action I need some advice from people that are poly, and know the lifestyle. Am I just being selfish by "wanting my cake & eating it too" or does there seem to be the possibility of a poly lifestyle.